An Unshaken Friend

In light of our “Relationships” theme of 2022, let’s talk about friendships. The Bible has countless insightful verses on this topic. Before diving further, I would like to highlight just a few great ones:

• “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” 1 Thessalonians 5:11a
• “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
• “Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.” Proverbs 16:28
• “A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17a

Friendships look different for everyone. Some people thrive in large friend groups, while others prefer just one “bestie.” Maybe you’ve even been both of these people just going through different seasons of life. There is no exact “right way” to have friends, but there are definitely some “wrong ways,” or at least some pitfalls to look out for. These pitfalls can include pessimism, jealousy, codependency, and combinations of many other negative qualities people struggle with.

Pessimism is heavy but sneaky. Most of the time, we don’t even realize it is creeping into our lives until it has already taken over. It can find its way to us through our friendships, and in that same way, we can infect others with it. Have you ever been around someone who just seems to drain your energy? They aren’t mean; they’re not even a bad friend, but they just have that quality that leaves you emotionally exhausted by the end of your visit. We shouldn’t avoid friendships like these, you may even be called to pour the love and light of Christ into this friend’s life, but you must be careful not to let their troubles overcome you. At the end of every day, you are still a child of the King of Kings, and no amount of negativity from others should pull your eyes away from your true purpose here.

Jealousy blinds us. It robs us of our self-love and security. A friend that is blinded by jealousy spends a lot of time worrying and anxiously wondering if they’re liked, valuable, or worth spending time with. These insecure thoughts only feed our jealousy. The beautiful thing about friendships is that God brings them into our lives with purpose and for just a specific season most of the time. Rarely do you find a life-long friendship that has managed to stay close-knit the whole way through. Jealousy lies to you, and it tells you that you won’t be okay if a friendship falls away or if it is even just placed on a temporary hold. The truth is that we shouldn’t want to tightly hold on to friendships that God isn’t pushing us to. Long-time friends can become acquaintances; long-time acquaintances can become our closest friends, and so on. Trust that our Lord knows what is best for all of us and that He is working a plan for our good, even if we don’t see the big picture yet.

You’ve had good and bad friends throughout your life, but you’ve also been a good friend and a bad friend to others. While we are all sinfully human, the hope is that we are all working diligently every day to learn how to better show Christ’s love to one another. When thinking about Godly friendships, I have only a few recommendations. Give grace freely to yourself and everyone you interact with. Repent for how you may have wronged others in the past. Pray for God’s will and guidance in your current friendships and the friendship that are still to come. Allow yourself to grieve friends whose presence you miss in your life. Trust that following God’s plan and sharing Christ’s love is enough to be fulfilled in your life. No matter what season we are in, the light we offer in our friendships can remain unshaken.

Verses for further study:

1 Peter 4:8-10
John 15:12-15
Proverbs 22:24-25
Colossians 3:13

Song for inspiration:
God is Good by Francesca Battistelli