“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near” [Philippians 4:5].
When was the last time you prayed for the fruit of gentleness to bloom in your life? My first experience with this prayer came out of the trauma and a form of PTSD that developed in my early adolescence. After being victimized by a family member, anxiety and depression dogged me for decades. In my forties, a dear friend led me toward a time of relinquishing my desire for a piece of revenge and justice, even though the person who hurt me was no longer alive. The idea that I could have a gentle response toward this person and myself never occurred to me until the January afternoon I prayed with her for God to let me see this individual with what one of my other friends calls “soft eyes.” Not long after a season of praying that prayer, God opened the heart of a distant relative who shared family stories of struggle in the early life of the one who wounded me. I found compassion for this broken soul that helped me release this person into God’s loving hands. God’s gentleness toward me during this period helped me forgive my relative and open my torn heart to God’s healing.
We need gentleness because we are fragile! God designed us for the Garden of Eden, not this harried and hurried existence out here in the tumbleweeds of a fallen world. Isaiah 40 tells us that God has the kind of strength needed to be gentle to us. Sandwiched between the power of verses 15, 26, and 27 is the kindness of verse 11:
“He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; He gently leads those that have young.”
Gentleness Stoops Down
In his book, The Practice of Godliness, Jerry Bridges points out that “God continually stoops down to help us (Psalm 18:35), and He wants us to do the same; to be sensitive to the rights and feelings of others.” Jesus modeled this gentleness constantly; He actively sought to make others feel at ease and rest in His presence (Matthew 11:28-30). I tend to hold my breath around people who are not being gentle. I now wonder, who might be holding their breath around me?
Gentleness Respects the Dignity of Others
Respect is an essential component of gentleness. When we seek to change a wrong opinion with persuasion and kindness instead of domination or intimidation, we use the Holy Spirit’s gift of gentleness. Remembering that “The Lord is near,” not only watching but offering help, may encourage us all to deal more gently with everyone, doing what is best for them.
Developing a Gentle Spirit
We can train to develop a more considerate stance toward people.
- Choose to enter training to develop a gentle spirit. Are you willing to live without a rigid set of black and white rules? Do you really want to care about people? You can pray for a soft heart and “soft eyes” with which to see those around you.
- Ask honest people who know you well about how you come across to others. Are you willing to accept feedback? Are you ready to look at where you might be dogmatic and opinionated, blunt and abrupt, dominating and intimidating? Do people feel judged by you? The Holy Spirit wants to help you develop more loving strategies to deal with the people in your life. You will need great strength for this, so ask boldly for God’s power to help you.
- Pray for the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to specific instances in which a gentle spirit did not surface. Ask for forgiveness and a do-over.
- Read, think about, and memorize Scriptures on gentleness.
Prayer:
Holy Spirit, please give me a gentle spirit that puts people at ease around me. Help me value people enough to let You change me. Amen.
For Further Study:
1 Timothy 4:5
Titus 3:2
James 3:17
Colossians 3:12
Galatians 5:22-23
Written by Stephanie Murillo
Grow Anyway 
That is a virtue which many of us never think about. We all need this. Many times I thought I was being kind, gentle, loving and instructive in my teaching only to hear one student complain about my attitude of knowing and making them feel inferior. I’ve searched my heart many times in regard to this and have asked forgiveness. Also, the last few years of teaching I believe revealed to students that I was humble and caring even when I didn’t feel that at first. God can heal our attitudes and the ways we come across to others. Even with the best of intentions others may see us as smug or domineering. When we pray ” let that mind be in me which was also in Jesus Christ – who humbled himself and became a servant, being obedient unto death – even death on a cross”. ( Philippians 2) This heals us. Remember God lifted Jesus up and He sits at the right hand of God, and every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is Lord to the glory of God the Father. When we reflect on the thought that we too must kneel and confess Him as Lord – that should give us a “humble, gentle spirit”. We never know the traumas of others and it’s not for us to judge. We must only judge ourselves in the Light of His Grace. He will heal and forgive and help remake us as long as we are here on earth so that we can reach out to others in His Name
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Dear Fleta,
What a tender, vulnerable post, friend. I sometimes feel I needed a sign on my door over the years that said, “Warning! You are entering the Arrogant Zone!” May God continue to plow the ground of our hearts.
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