women – Page 4 – Grow Anyway

Creative Conflict

June 2, 2021June 1, 2021by Guest BloggerLeave a Comment

How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? See it as demoralizing and fearful? Or might you perceive conflict as an opportunity for growth and a strengthening of bonds? The Bible has a compelling story of creative conflict management in 2 Samuel 17. Take a moment to read the story of two hot-heads, David and Nabal, and one creative thinker, negotiator and communicator named Abigail.

When Nabal is asked by King David’s servants for a hand-out, he reacts by insulting the king, refusing to meet their desperate need for food. David does not stop to think, pray, or assess the situation. He, like Nabal, puts his foot on the emotional gas and threatens to leave no son of his alive because of this drunken fool’s refusal. When Abigail learns that death now threatens her family, she calmly stays in touch with her feelings and carefully considers how to respond. Abigail empathizes with David’s plight, staying calm, non-defensive and respectful when she takes food to David.

She faces the conflict head-on, but respectfully seeks a win-win for both her family and for David, refusing to be paralyzed by anger or fear. Then this resourceful woman communicates to David that the blood-shed he is contemplating is going to hurt his relationship with God then asks the king to forgive her husband and to hold nothing against her. Abigail boldly advocates for herself asking David to remember her when the conflict is resolved.

You and I can benefit from Abigail’s conflict-resolutions skills if we are willing to ask the Holy Spirit to help us put the following strategies into practice:

Let go of the need to win or be declared right. We can effectively handle conflict when our goal is the restoration of relationship, not winning. We need to be reminded that God loves us whether we are top dog or not.
Let go of the past. Focus on the present, not past grudges, so that what can be done in the here-and-now isn’t lost in chaotic memories.
Let go of the need for revenge. We can resolve conflict if we release the urge to punish and if we are willing renounce the following: dwelling on the incident, bringing it up again, re-hashing the incident with others, and letting the incident stand between us and others.
Let go and disengage when a discussion is not fruitful. We can often try again especially after learning better communication skills and seeking the help of professionals in this area.
Let go of the need to handle conflict without help. God is happy to give us wisdom and discernment when we ask Him for help in hard-to-have conversations. We can ask God for a strengthening of our character for stronger conflict resolution skills and for safe others to guide us.

Any conflict has the potential to teach us about ourselves and deepen our understanding and empathy for others. As you and I are willing to work with God and safe others on our own issues, we will learn to respectfully approach others when conflicts arise. God’s desire is always the re-creation of deep and healthy connections in our relationships.

For further reading:

Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 6:14
Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4, 18, 22, 28, 32

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Art Note: Painting is oil on panel by Sir Peter Paul Rubens entitled The Meeting of David and Abigail circa 1630.]

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Name Without Shame

May 12, 2021May 12, 2021by Guest Blogger3 Comments

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. [Psalm 42:5 NIV]

Have you ever been ambushed by a tsunami of emotions that threatened to hi-jack the noble, mature, responsible you? Have you ever been a primal scream wrapped in skin? I have to raise both hands here and admit that for years I did not know what to do with the molten lava of feelings I often felt inside.

Happily, Christian teachers are now beginning to acknowledge our need to train, rather than try to manage our emotions honestly and without shame, a development that can bear so much fruit in our hearts and help us connect with our inner lives, with God, and with others.

One of the first skills I began to practice came from our God-given identity as “namers.” God gave Adam and Eve the job of giving names to the flora and fauna around them in the Garden of Eden, and we have been assigning names and labels from that day to this. Naming is a powerful tool, because identifying an emotion, issue, or worry, brings it out of the darkness into the light. What we acknowledge, can now be placed into God’s capable, competent, compassionate hands for healing and change. Naming is often the first step in managing that volcano inside.

In Psalm 42, King David is practicing an emotionally healthy strategy by looking inside himself and trying to name what is troubling him. He is engaging in some fruitful “self-talk” by not only asking this question, but also turning his focus on God as Savior and a giver of grace. Some scholars believe David wrote this when he was fleeing from his own son and could not enter God’s house to worship. In Psalm 42, he honestly names what is defining his life at present: a soul (mind, will, and emotions) drained dry by the tears of betrayal that have poured out day and night.

The pandemic has caused many of us to feel a level of disconnect we have never experienced before, but there is hope! A tidal wave of emotion may sweep over us, but as Charles Spurgeon says, “Grace swims!” So, how do we invite God into our emotional tempest?

ASK God for help to put a name to what is driving the storm inside us.
POUR out all that is inside to the only One strong enough and safe enough to handle our strong emotions.

Psalms 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 129, and 140 are examples of powerful and often not-too-noble feelings being poured out before God in the privacy of personal prayer. Then, we sit quietly before God asking Him to love us back to sanity, and to give us safe people to help us process our emotions. Remember, this is a process defined by God’s loving acceptance. No shame allowed!

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Bonus verses to look up later: Psalm 27:14 Psalm 37:7 Psalm 91:15 Romans 4:18-19]

liz goss

Praise God on Mother’s Day

May 5, 2021May 4, 2021by Liz GossLeave a Comment

“Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given.” – 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (NLT)

Sunday is Mother’s Day and I want to take the first sentence of this post to say: let this day be whatever you need it to be… but remember to be grateful. See, when I asked some friends about this yearly celebration I got feelings all over the map:

Love for my child and so much gratitude for being a mother.
Grief over a mother I am missing.
Struggling with mental health and have mixed feelings about being a mother.
Pain due to the mother daughter relationship I had.
Envy over those picture perfect moments that fill my social media feeds.
Empty ache over a child I lost even as I am grateful for the children I have.
Painful reminder that I’m not a mom yet.

Whatever Mother’s Day is or isn’t for you, it’s all okay. There’s room and space for the joy and the grief. It’s okay to talk about and feel all the sides of Mother’s Day. But because Mother’s Day is a day of celebration I challenge you all to spend some time preparing your heart to glorify God because of the gift of motherhood. We can all bring praise to God because of someone who personified a mother in our lives. There are three great ways (that popped into my brain) to carry out this exercise. So choose one or choose them all, but don’t forget to thank God for some aspect of moms this weekend.

WRITE – Put your thankfulness down in words. Thank your mother. Thank someone else’s mother. Be grateful for the ways you have been able to mother. Praise God for the ways he has mothered you. Pen to paper. Text. Write an email. Comment on this blog post. However you want to write out your thank you… do it.

ADVICE – We learn things from mothers and one amazing way to exalt motherhood is to share the advice we have received. Mom advice is priceless so glorify God by sharing some of it with others.

LAUGH – Being a mom can be… ridiculous. We do dumb things. Our kids do crazy stuff. We witness other mothers being off the wall geniuses. Let’s share some of this treasure trove and praise our good God for the laughs he’s brought along the way.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you need to cry today, cry. If you need to celebrate, celebrate. If you want to do both, do both. If you need to hide on Sunday and pretend it’s not Mother’s Day, that’s totally okay. From one woman to another, I give you permission to love yourself enough to ask for what you need from your loved ones for this day. But in the midst of all the things this world throws at us, let’s not forget to praise our God for the blessing of motherhood. Because through it all he is always good.

“Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 16:36

liz goss

Easter Resolutions

April 14, 2021April 13, 2021by Liz Goss2 Comments

When 2021 came around it was universally accepted that we were out with the old and in with the new. Of course we hoped to be “out” with masks, social distancing & eating outside and “in” with hugs, parties & traveling. We made personal resolutions to stop eating so much and spend more time at the gym. And whether any of the outs really out-ed or ins really in-ed was never exactly the point, it’s the ferver with which we HOPE things will change when the calendar does that wins our hearts every year.

Easter is the Christian new year. Lent begins the holiday season and by Easter we are always primed to make our spiritual resolutions. This year I will stop taking Jesus for granted and have a relationship with God. This year I will trust God with my finances and start to tithe. This year I will put down the idol that I’m so drawn towards (drinking, food, shopping, relationships, money, etc.) and focus on letting God fill my emptiness. In the final Easter sermons we are primed for repentance.

But as Paul says to the Galatians, who cut in on you? I’m guessing that already (April 14th) you’ve messed up your resolution. I know I have! Galatians 5:7-8 says, “You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom.” See, like pastor Matt on Easter, Paul made it clear to the Galatians that in Christ they were truly free. Free from the power of sin and free to live under God’s grace. Just like us.

So why would we ever want to give up the freedom we found in Christ that refreshed our hearts on Easter? Bondage is subtle. Our New Years resolutions and our Easter resolutions often fall to a slow dependence on behaviors, substances and attitudes that give us security. But… as we turn our lives over to God, he will graciously give us the power we need to overcome.

Last Sunday Pastor Kyle at Journey Church, reminded us that we don’t need a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night to guide us. While it seems super helpful, we actually have something better as Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:16-17: “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

Resolutions aren’t bad. They are usually the prompting of the Holy Spirit, showing us where we could be living better for God and his kingdom. But in our own power we are usually unable to keep them. So let me encourage you in this… God desires a relationship with you. He didn’t die to make you better behaved. He didn’t die so that you’d finally follow the rules. He died because he loves you. He wants to know you, do life with you and spend forever enjoying you. Because he made you.

If you felt God stirring your heart this Easter I hope you resolve to be HIS this next year. Spend time with the one who knows you best and loves you most. Everything else you could possibly resolve to do will come in his timing, if you let the Holy Spirit guide you into doing life with God.

liz goss

What Difference Does Easter Make?

March 31, 2021March 31, 2021by Liz Goss2 Comments

This week is called Holy Week because it falls between Palm Sunday and Easter. Now… back when I was in Bible class in school, during this week we dedicated ourselves to studying the Passion of Christ. The Passion is the short final period in the life of Jesus Christ which includes:

the triumphal entry
cleaning out the temple
Christ’s anointing
the last supper
the time in the garden
Christ’s arrest
the Sanhedrin trial
trial before Pontius Pilate
the crucifixion and death (Good Friday)
burial of Christ
the resurrection (Easter)

There have been a lot of movies made about this period over the years, and if you want a quick course I would suggest watching one. Depending on your movie era and genera preference you can choose from:

King of Kings (1961)
The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)
Godspell (1973)
Jesus of Nazareth (1977)
Gospel of John (2003)
The Passion of Christ (2004)

So there you have Holy Week and Easter. The whole Old Testament tells us that personal holiness is not something humans can attain and now a savior has come. Christ paid the ultimate price for our restoration with God.

But I want to pause here and ask you a question. What difference does Easter make? There are two kinds of differences that I can think of: eternal differences and earthly differences.

Romans 5 tells us that through faith in Jesus Christ we are now friends of God. The biggest difference Easter makes is this eternal restoration. Our souls are safe. We can now confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. Listen to me read this amazing news in Romans chapter 5 verses 1-11 below.

Now so many Christians I talk to are restored or “saved”, but stranded in this space of breaking sin’s power. Before we were restored to God, we were probably trapped in some kind of sinful behavior. Alcoholism. Drugs. Sex. Gambling. Gluttony. Etc. I say trapped because even though it might be fun, it controls thoughts, money, time and behavior. Sadly, a lot of Christians spend the rest of their days – AFTER bowing their will to Christ – trying to break the power of sinful behaviors in their lives. And the reason it makes me sad is because while these beautiful souls are saved and restored to God, the Devil has kept them from believing sin’s power is BROKEN! Listen to me read this life changing truth from Romans chapter 6 below.

Sweet friends. The Devil is a liar. By the blood of Christ you are free from the chains of sin. Don’t waste that truth!!! You are now free to begin to explore life (here on earth) with the Spirit. That means God wants to watch you live out your quest to bring others to him while learning to use the special and unique qualities given to you alone. When living by the Spirit’s leading and using the talents God gave just you, you have the ability to showcase a part of God’s heart to the world around you. You have been restored my beautiful friend. Don’t still live as a slave to sin when you could be living THIS way! Listen to me read Romans chapter 8 verses 1-11 to see the earthly difference Christ’s resurrection power makes.

So I’m going to ask you again. What difference does Easter make? If the only difference is eternity (while ginormously important) you are missing an opportunity to do life with the Spirit and shine your gifts for his glory. Sin’s power has been broken. Live free and explore the dreams God has planted in your heart. Easter marks a new life we have been welcomed into. Go after it with both hands open right here on earth! You don’t have to wait for heaven to experience God. Listen to the song below to start thinking about next steps for TODAY.

liz goss

Tiptoeing into 2021

January 20, 2021January 19, 2021by Liz Goss3 Comments

I’ve seen so many quotes about 2020 vs 2021 and the sense I get is this… please don’t cause more trouble!! It’s like we have all reached a limit where we just don’t want anything harder. And I get that. So many difficult and life changing things have happened. For some 2020 was a big inconvenience. For others businesses and loved ones were lost. And lots and lots of people got sick. So here we find ourselves sticking just a baby toe into the waters of 2021.

Usually this time of year is fraught with strong resolutions. We are feeling empowered to change something or start something new. And I’m here on your screen to encourage you to keep going after being the best you can be. Keep trying, keep pressing, keep asking God for what you need. Don’t let the disappointments and frustrations of last year cause this year to pass you by. And here is why…

Matthew 7:7 says “ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

I know. It’s so easy to look at these verses and snort. I can literally hear some of you saying, “That’s bunk. God didn’t answer any of my prayers last year. The whole year was a flop.” And I sympathize with you because if you take this verse to mean God will follow up your requests with a big YES you have every right to feel really wronged. But unfortunately that’s not how Matthew intended us to understand this verse.

See pronouns can be tricky and as a person with a degree in English Literature, I want to tell you something important. Pronouns are words like I, you, he, this, it, who and what and they replace the noun in a sentence. However, in so doing pronouns can create ambiguity. Like in the verse above. I’ll show you:

ask, and it will be given to you = what does it refer to?
seek, and you will find = find what?
knock, and it will be opened to you = again with the it, what will be opened?

Usually, when a pronoun is ambiguous the listener personalizes the sentence in the best way they think it should go. In this case it is perfectly natural to assume that Matthew means:

ask, and what you asked for will be given to you
seek, and what you seek for you will find
knock, and the door you knocked on will open

But that’s just not the case. God is not pretending to be our secret Santa in these verses. Instead, God is giving us the secret to a better relationship with… Himself. Because these verses actually mean:

ask for a savior and he will be given to you
seek a relationship with Christ and you will find it
knock on the gates of Heaven and they will be opened to you

This beautiful verse points out that prayer is not so much to influence God, but to change the one praying. Isaiah 65:24 says “before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear” and that is not because he is waiting to be our genie with 3 wishes. It is because he loves us and wants to give us the riches of heaven.

You don’t need to tiptoe into 2021. I can’t promise anything about what this year will actually manifest but I do know that Hebrews 13:8 says “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” This means that even in 2021 you can ask, seek and knock and have the wonders and riches of God come alive in your heart and mind. So in closing I will leave you with (what I believe) is the best mantra to keep on repeat in our heads throughout this year.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

P.S. In case you’re curious about the sculpture at the top of this article, it is called Toe In The Water and was created by Bob Quinn. To see more of his interesting work check out his website: http://bobquinn.ie/

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Finding God in the Wilderness

January 13, 2021January 13, 2021by Susan Collins3 Comments

The call of God comes in many forms. For some it is a specific frame of mind or time of day that opens the line of communication. One way I hear God is in a place. A place where the magnificence of God is evident in the formation of rocks, the fragility of vegetation, and the smallest creatures of the desert. The Grand Canyon.

May of 2010 I proceeded into the depths. I marveled at the scenes around me and how God is such a creative being. I was starting to feel fairly confident when I heard it. The unmistakable sound of a rattlesnake. I backed up five or six steps and the snake slithered off the path. Then I kicked some rocks, made some noise and ran past that angry snake.

When I reached the bottom of the incline I was in a place where I could rest and refill my water. I sat there for almost an hour, talking to God. He called me here, why would He scare me? He didn’t. A reminder that the world does not revolve around me, but God is always available and willing to guide. I put my pack on and started down the trail again.

As I continued on, I met other hikers who shared their experience and encouragement. I was traveling through the bottom layer of the Grand Canyon which is made of volcanic rock. This stretch of trail is known as “the box” because it heats up like an oven. I remember repeating Psalm 23 to myself, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”

I reached for my straw to get another sip of water and got a trickle of water and several air bubbles. I was out of water. I asked God to carry me. In less that half of a mile, I walked into the compound that is Phantom Ranch.

On the second evening that I spent at Phantom Ranch, one of the women in my dorm asked if I would like a walking partner. We agreed to hike out together after breakfast.

The hike out was hot and difficult, just as the hike down had been. The difference was that I was not alone. God called me to this journey to show me the dangers of trying to navigate life without Him, and the ease and joy of a shared burden when I rely on Him. He put exactly the people I needed along my path. As for the snake. How many times do I wander into Satan’s domain completely unaware that I have moved so far away from God?

My soul was greatly renewed on that trip. At the end of that journey, I found a renewed sense of confidence and reliance on Him. That painful place didn’t go away, but my perception of it changed dramatically.

liz goss

If the Lord is God Follow Him

January 1, 2021December 31, 2020by Liz Goss1 Comment

We are in a new year – 2021 – and I know there is a lot we need to leave behind. If I am going to be my best self after a year of yoga pants it’s going to be a choice. So here are seven things I tend to do when I am emotionally or physically at my limit – that I need to leave far behind in 2020.

🏃🏼‍♀️💨 running from problems
☠️ abandoning relationships
💬 forgetting what God has done
🚫 focusing on what God isn’t doing
👶🏼 assuming nobody else has it as tough
🚧 giving up
🤹🏼‍♀️ being very confused about my goals

Now there are lots and LOTS of specific verses dealing with problems and forgetfulness and giving up but I think what Elijah said in 1 Kings 18:21 pretty much sums up what I need to do: “And Elijah came near to all the people and said, “How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him.”

Choices matter. One of the greatest blessings God created in us was free will, but we must use our power to choose correctly. I believe the Lord is God, so I must choose to follow him. I must choose to follow God’s will for my life by facing my problems with determination. I need to prioritize relationships, remember what God has done and focus on what God is doing. I need to stop making assumptions about others, stick with things and be clear on my goals. If the Lord is God, follow him.

That being said, change is difficult. Whoever finds a way to bottle and market motivation and self-discipline will make a fortune. But because that person is NOT me I’ll just give you five ways that help me approach change:

Focus on a change of heart (deep heart-felt desires), not just a change of mind & behavior.
Practice self-discipline. Did you know that self-control is a muscle that, like other muscles, needs exercise and strengthening. Change doesn’t happen because you want it to happen. Each time you resist temptation, you are developing greater self-control.
Eliminate temptation. Whether it is a physical dependence or a psychological dependence, any temptation will distract you from your goals.
Make history your teacher, not your jailer. Instead of beating yourself up when you fail to keep your promises to yourself, seek to gain self-knowledge so you won’t repeat the error.
Surround yourself with people who will support your effort. We are much more influenced by other people than we imagine. One of the most potent forces for positive change is the emotional support of the individuals who surround you.

Do you want to kick the 7 pitfalls to a good 2021 and develop the ability to follow the Lord no matter what?! Use these 5 tips to help you change. We’ve got this beautiful friends!

amy oberg

Why Do We Need Each Other!?!

December 28, 2020December 29, 2020by amyobergLeave a Comment

We are women who are normal. Not normal in a boring sense but normal in a human sense. We are everyday women who work, stay at home moms, corporate executives, small business owners, love our kids with every ounce of our beings, love being married, love being single, strong, meek, quiet strength, foodies, teachers, readers, animal lovers, writers, students, and every where in between or over the top.

Why are YOU important?

YOU MATTER to God and to us! We NEED you! Your gifts, talents and strengths fill in weaknesses of others. We believe our weakness could be your strength. Then how do you fit?

What are your strengths?
What can you do that can help build other women up?
Where does your heart and talent collide?

Typically, God gives you eyes to see things only you can see or do. An early childhood development teacher can easily spot a way to help a new teacher create a space that would encourage a student’s learning environment. A nutritionist easily spots how my diet can change to improve my health. A marketing director can spot the holes in a website and how the prospective client interacts with the site. This is an endless analogy of one person seeing a perspective that others cannot. There is no judgement or condemnation, but confident perspective and constructive information. In business, this is an acceptable form of interaction of building each other up. Can it live inside relationships too?

What if we saw a group of women as someone on your team? God gifting them to help build you up. Unfortunately, we are not really that good at this. We live in relationships that could build our lives up but rarely use the relationship resources around us. Why?

Fear
Judgement
Bad experiences
Bad relationships
Vulnerability

We cannot choose that we don’t need other (1 Corinthians 12:12-31). God has given and gifted us with each other. We need you! We need your eyes in our life to build us up.

How do we do that?

We need relationship with you. What I have learned over the last year: Only a relationship with respect will allow opinions to be valued and heard. Proximity in business or family does not determine relationship per se…no matter how much we want it too. Position does not determine relationship. Relationship must be granted, accepted and mutual—opinions are only allowed in relationship.

What does all that mean?? We need relationship so we can value your opinion. Yes, YOU MATTER! You have something we don’t—our weakness may just be your strength. How would we know that if we don’t know you? Ready to go to coffee and start a relationship? Let’s do it! Email women@journeykingman.com.

Be bold and share your strengths in the comments! What are you awesome at? Or share how you met a new friend.

amy oberg

Kingman Women

December 28, 2020December 29, 2020by amyoberg1 Comment

Every women matters!

We are heading into a new year! We are all grateful 2020 is over and we will not say hindsight is 20/20 any longer. 🙂

Why would we have a blog?

Because our connection with each other matters.
Because we need each other to speak into the heart of our lives.

We have many women who have learned the value of walking with each other while walking with God!

Our lives represent Christ. Karen Ehman would say we re-present God to everyone we come into contact with…so we should share our stories, our victories and our lives with each other.

We desire to encourage one another.
We desire to see God in our lives.
We desire to invite others.
We desire to have a community of women throughout all of Kingman and in every church.

This blog connection is a way to bridge the gap between our monthly event called The Grove. The Grove is an incredible gathering of women in discover her heart and soul in Jesus, worship and enjoy our community.

We would love to hear from you each week! This is a place for you interact with us and your community. We have a few ways to connect daily on Instagram, weekly on this blog and monthly at the Grove.

Please introduce yourself… How long have you been in Kingman? What is your favorite thing about your church? Why is your best friend your best friend?