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Creative Conflict

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Creative Conflict

How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? See it as demoralizing and fearful? Or might you perceive conflict as an opportunity for growth and a strengthening of bonds? The Bible has a compelling story of creative conflict management in 2 Samuel 17. Take a moment to read the story of two hot-heads, David and Nabal, and one creative thinker, negotiator and communicator named Abigail.

When Nabal is asked by King David’s servants for a hand-out, he reacts by insulting the king, refusing to meet their desperate need for food. David does not stop to think, pray, or assess the situation. He, like Nabal, puts his foot on the emotional gas and threatens to leave no son of his alive because of this drunken fool’s refusal. When Abigail learns that death now threatens her family, she calmly stays in touch with her feelings and carefully considers how to respond. Abigail empathizes with David’s plight, staying calm, non-defensive and respectful when she takes food to David.

She faces the conflict head-on, but respectfully seeks a win-win for both her family and for David, refusing to be paralyzed by anger or fear. Then this resourceful woman communicates to David that the blood-shed he is contemplating is going to hurt his relationship with God then asks the king to forgive her husband and to hold nothing against her. Abigail boldly advocates for herself asking David to remember her when the conflict is resolved.

You and I can benefit from Abigail’s conflict-resolutions skills if we are willing to ask the Holy Spirit to help us put the following strategies into practice:

  1. Let go of the need to win or be declared right. We can effectively handle conflict when our goal is the restoration of relationship, not winning. We need to be reminded that God loves us whether we are top dog or not.
  2. Let go of the past. Focus on the present, not past grudges, so that what can be done in the here-and-now isn’t lost in chaotic memories.
  3. Let go of the need for revenge. We can resolve conflict if we release the urge to punish and if we are willing renounce the following: dwelling on the incident, bringing it up again, re-hashing the incident with others, and letting the incident stand between us and others.
  4. Let go and disengage when a discussion is not fruitful. We can often try again especially after learning better communication skills and seeking the help of professionals in this area.
  5. Let go of the need to handle conflict without help. God is happy to give us wisdom and discernment when we ask Him for help in hard-to-have conversations. We can ask God for a strengthening of our character for stronger conflict resolution skills and for safe others to guide us.

Any conflict has the potential to teach us about ourselves and deepen our understanding and empathy for others. As you and I are willing to work with God and safe others on our own issues, we will learn to respectfully approach others when conflicts arise. God’s desire is always the re-creation of deep and healthy connections in our relationships.

For further reading:

  • Ephesians 4:32
  • Matthew 6:14
  • Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4, 18, 22, 28, 32

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Art Note: Painting is oil on panel by Sir Peter Paul Rubens entitled The Meeting of David and Abigail circa 1630.]

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One Big P.U.S.H.

by Guest Blogger1 Comment on One Big P.U.S.H.
One Big P.U.S.H.

They told him, “This is what Hezekiah says: This day is a day of distress and rebuke and disgrace, as when children come to the moment of birth and there is no strength to deliver them. – 2 Kings 19:3 [NIV]

Do you enjoy epic adventure stories that spill across a big screen with badly outnumbered good guys fighting bravely against the bad guys who are threatening their very existence? I sure do! Two chapters, 18 and 19 in 2 Kings are particular favorites of mine because of the way a terrified King Hezekiah responds to the vile threats breathed against him and God by the invading King Sennacherib and his field commander. If you take a moment and read those blood-curdling chapters, you will discover King Hezekiah’s healthy response to a sickening situation.

911!

King Hezekiah first admits that he is in over his head, asking the prophet Isaiah to pray (2 Kings 19:2). When you and I are in trouble, asking prayer warriors to intercede for us is a healthy strategy that connects us to one another and to God.

Read this, God!

When King Sennacherib doubles down by putting his taunts and blasphemy into a letter, the King takes all that evil ridicule into the temple of the LORD, spreads it out before God and takes his battle position by hitting his knees (2 Kings 19:14-19).

There are times we just run out of words when that terrifying letter, text or social media post is opened. Like King Hezekiah, we can call out, “Read this, God! Only You can tell me what to do! Only You can deliver me out of this mess. I am not making a move until I hear from You.”

Wait for the P.U.S.H.

King Hezekiah waited before God without making any impulsive or rash moves. Maybe not having energy for that last, big push was a blessing, forcing the king to sit tight and trust God. Hezekiah wasn’t disappointed. That night, we are told, that the angel of the Lord puts to death 185,000 men, forcing Sennacherib home where his own sons assassinate him while he is worshiping his god (2 Kings 19:35-37).

Today, with Jesus in our hearts, we have access to the power and personality of His Spirit in our lives. The Holy Spirit gives us the gifts and fruits we need (Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Corinthians 12:8-10). These powerful gifts create unity if we are willing to cooperate (Ephesians 4:3). God’s Spirit inside of us helps us work with people we ordinarily wouldn’t tolerate. The Holy Spirit also supervises the church, comforting, guiding, praying, freeing, and bearing witness to our salvation. The Holy Spirit also, over time, makes us holy. He cleanses us from sin and “me-sickness,” rubbing us against life’s washboard until our spots and stains are scrubbed away (1 Corinthians 6:11; Titus 3:4-7). You can find this idea and more in Max Lucado’s book: Unshakable Hope.

Are you willing to call out a 911 to God and safe others? Are you willing to pause, pray, and wait for the P.U.S.H of the Holy Spirit? God wants to fill you with all that He is. You have only to ask.

Meditate and Marinate:

  • Psalm 104:27-30
  • Acts 9:31
  • John 16:13
  • Romans 8:26
  • John 3:5-8

BY: Stephanie Murillo

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Name Without Shame

by Guest Blogger3 Comments on Name Without Shame
Name Without Shame

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. [Psalm 42:5 NIV]

Have you ever been ambushed by a tsunami of emotions that threatened to hi-jack the noble, mature, responsible you? Have you ever been a primal scream wrapped in skin? I have to raise both hands here and admit that for years I did not know what to do with the molten lava of feelings I often felt inside.

Happily, Christian teachers are now beginning to acknowledge our need to train, rather than try to manage our emotions honestly and without shame, a development that can bear so much fruit in our hearts and help us connect with our inner lives, with God, and with others.

One of the first skills I began to practice came from our God-given identity as “namers.” God gave Adam and Eve the job of giving names to the flora and fauna around them in the Garden of Eden, and we have been assigning names and labels from that day to this. Naming is a powerful tool, because identifying an emotion, issue, or worry, brings it out of the darkness into the light. What we acknowledge, can now be placed into God’s capable, competent, compassionate hands for healing and change. Naming is often the first step in managing that volcano inside.

In Psalm 42, King David is practicing an emotionally healthy strategy by looking inside himself and trying to name what is troubling him. He is engaging in some fruitful “self-talk” by not only asking this question, but also turning his focus on God as Savior and a giver of grace. Some scholars believe David wrote this when he was fleeing from his own son and could not enter God’s house to worship. In Psalm 42, he honestly names what is defining his life at present: a soul (mind, will, and emotions) drained dry by the tears of betrayal that have poured out day and night.

The pandemic has caused many of us to feel a level of disconnect we have never experienced before, but there is hope! A tidal wave of emotion may sweep over us, but as Charles Spurgeon says, “Grace swims!” So, how do we invite God into our emotional tempest?

  • ASK God for help to put a name to what is driving the storm inside us.
  • POUR out all that is inside to the only One strong enough and safe enough to handle our strong emotions.

Psalms 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 129, and 140 are examples of powerful and often not-too-noble feelings being poured out before God in the privacy of personal prayer. Then, we sit quietly before God asking Him to love us back to sanity, and to give us safe people to help us process our emotions. Remember, this is a process defined by God’s loving acceptance. No shame allowed!

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Bonus verses to look up later: Psalm 27:14 Psalm 37:7 Psalm 91:15 Romans 4:18-19]

liz goss

Praise God on Mother’s Day

by Liz GossLeave a Comment on Praise God on Mother’s Day
Praise God on Mother’s Day

“Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given.” – 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (NLT)

Sunday is Mother’s Day and I want to take the first sentence of this post to say: let this day be whatever you need it to be… but remember to be grateful. See, when I asked some friends about this yearly celebration I got feelings all over the map:

  • Love for my child and so much gratitude for being a mother.
  • Grief over a mother I am missing.
  • Struggling with mental health and have mixed feelings about being a mother.
  • Pain due to the mother daughter relationship I had.
  • Envy over those picture perfect moments that fill my social media feeds.
  • Empty ache over a child I lost even as I am grateful for the children I have.
  • Painful reminder that I’m not a mom yet.

Whatever Mother’s Day is or isn’t for you, it’s all okay. There’s room and space for the joy and the grief. It’s okay to talk about and feel all the sides of Mother’s Day. But because Mother’s Day is a day of celebration I challenge you all to spend some time preparing your heart to glorify God because of the gift of motherhood. We can all bring praise to God because of someone who personified a mother in our lives. There are three great ways (that popped into my brain) to carry out this exercise. So choose one or choose them all, but don’t forget to thank God for some aspect of moms this weekend.

WRITE – Put your thankfulness down in words. Thank your mother. Thank someone else’s mother. Be grateful for the ways you have been able to mother. Praise God for the ways he has mothered you. Pen to paper. Text. Write an email. Comment on this blog post. However you want to write out your thank you… do it.

ADVICE – We learn things from mothers and one amazing way to exalt motherhood is to share the advice we have received. Mom advice is priceless so glorify God by sharing some of it with others.

LAUGH – Being a mom can be… ridiculous. We do dumb things. Our kids do crazy stuff. We witness other mothers being off the wall geniuses. Let’s share some of this treasure trove and praise our good God for the laughs he’s brought along the way.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you need to cry today, cry. If you need to celebrate, celebrate. If you want to do both, do both. If you need to hide on Sunday and pretend it’s not Mother’s Day, that’s totally okay. From one woman to another, I give you permission to love yourself enough to ask for what you need from your loved ones for this day. But in the midst of all the things this world throws at us, let’s not forget to praise our God for the blessing of motherhood. Because through it all he is always good.

“Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 16:36

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Easter Resolutions

by Liz Goss2 Comments on Easter Resolutions
Easter Resolutions

When 2021 came around it was universally accepted that we were out with the old and in with the new. Of course we hoped to be “out” with masks, social distancing & eating outside and “in” with hugs, parties & traveling. We made personal resolutions to stop eating so much and spend more time at the gym. And whether any of the outs really out-ed or ins really in-ed was never exactly the point, it’s the ferver with which we HOPE things will change when the calendar does that wins our hearts every year.

Easter is the Christian new year. Lent begins the holiday season and by Easter we are always primed to make our spiritual resolutions. This year I will stop taking Jesus for granted and have a relationship with God. This year I will trust God with my finances and start to tithe. This year I will put down the idol that I’m so drawn towards (drinking, food, shopping, relationships, money, etc.) and focus on letting God fill my emptiness. In the final Easter sermons we are primed for repentance.

But as Paul says to the Galatians, who cut in on you? I’m guessing that already (April 14th) you’ve messed up your resolution. I know I have! Galatians 5:7-8 says, “You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom.” See, like pastor Matt on Easter, Paul made it clear to the Galatians that in Christ they were truly free. Free from the power of sin and free to live under God’s grace. Just like us.

So why would we ever want to give up the freedom we found in Christ that refreshed our hearts on Easter? Bondage is subtle. Our New Years resolutions and our Easter resolutions often fall to a slow dependence on behaviors, substances and attitudes that give us security. But… as we turn our lives over to God, he will graciously give us the power we need to overcome.

Last Sunday Pastor Kyle at Journey Church, reminded us that we don’t need a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night to guide us. While it seems super helpful, we actually have something better as Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:16-17: “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

Resolutions aren’t bad. They are usually the prompting of the Holy Spirit, showing us where we could be living better for God and his kingdom. But in our own power we are usually unable to keep them. So let me encourage you in this… God desires a relationship with you. He didn’t die to make you better behaved. He didn’t die so that you’d finally follow the rules. He died because he loves you. He wants to know you, do life with you and spend forever enjoying you. Because he made you.

If you felt God stirring your heart this Easter I hope you resolve to be HIS this next year. Spend time with the one who knows you best and loves you most. Everything else you could possibly resolve to do will come in his timing, if you let the Holy Spirit guide you into doing life with God.

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Love is a Highway

by Susan Collins1 Comment on Love is a Highway

Life is a Highway, I wanna ride it all night long! ♫♩♯

This song was originally recorded by Tom Cochrane in 1991. The song was originally conceived in the 1980’s with the working title “Love is a Highway.” Then was made popular again in 2006 by its use in the movie Cars.

Highways are interesting things. They are so common to us that we don’t see them as an invasion of the environment, but that’s exactly what they are. They are envisioned, created, and maintained by humans for our convenience.

Sometimes religion is like that. Religion can be so much a part of our interactions with God, that we fail to see it as an invasion of that relationship. In the Resurrection message, Matt talked about how God was robbed of the relationship He had intended to have with humankind. Then he set out on a journey to reconcile that relationship.

Like most highways, that journey has lots of ups, downs, twists and turns. Several side roads that eventually make us turn around and go back to where we started.

Human nature is to want the road to look like this:

Or I at least want other people to THINK this is what my highway looks like!

For most of us it actually looks like this:

As I contemplate what Jesus went through from Palm Sunday through Resurrection Sunday, I think of a bumpy, curvy, unpredictable road. He knew what was going to happen, and He still willingly went into the journey to restore the relationship between humans and God.

When I think of the working title “Love is a Highway” as it relates to God’s love for me it becomes very personal.

Jesus didn’t make a turn down a side street then find out it was not where He wanted to go. He intentionally and deliberately set off on a journey down the most dangerous highway imaginable because He loves you and me. Religion can be a vehicle on the highway to God, but it is not the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That is Jesus.

God has given us the relationship that restores what was stolen from Him and us in the garden. Will you accept the gift? It comes completely free….that’s Amazing Grace!

liz goss

What Difference Does Easter Make?

by Liz Goss2 Comments on What Difference Does Easter Make?
What Difference Does Easter Make?

This week is called Holy Week because it falls between Palm Sunday and Easter. Now… back when I was in Bible class in school, during this week we dedicated ourselves to studying the Passion of Christ. The Passion is the short final period in the life of Jesus Christ which includes:

  • the triumphal entry
  • cleaning out the temple
  • Christ’s anointing
  • the last supper
  • the time in the garden
  • Christ’s arrest
  • the Sanhedrin trial
  • trial before Pontius Pilate
  • the crucifixion and death (Good Friday)
  • burial of Christ
  • the resurrection (Easter)

There have been a lot of movies made about this period over the years, and if you want a quick course I would suggest watching one. Depending on your movie era and genera preference you can choose from:

  • King of Kings (1961)
  • The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)
  • Godspell (1973)
  • Jesus of Nazareth (1977)
  • Gospel of John (2003)
  • The Passion of Christ (2004)

So there you have Holy Week and Easter. The whole Old Testament tells us that personal holiness is not something humans can attain and now a savior has come. Christ paid the ultimate price for our restoration with God.

But I want to pause here and ask you a question. What difference does Easter make? There are two kinds of differences that I can think of: eternal differences and earthly differences.

Romans 5 tells us that through faith in Jesus Christ we are now friends of God. The biggest difference Easter makes is this eternal restoration. Our souls are safe. We can now confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. Listen to me read this amazing news in Romans chapter 5 verses 1-11 below.

Now so many Christians I talk to are restored or “saved”, but stranded in this space of breaking sin’s power. Before we were restored to God, we were probably trapped in some kind of sinful behavior. Alcoholism. Drugs. Sex. Gambling. Gluttony. Etc. I say trapped because even though it might be fun, it controls thoughts, money, time and behavior. Sadly, a lot of Christians spend the rest of their days – AFTER bowing their will to Christ – trying to break the power of sinful behaviors in their lives. And the reason it makes me sad is because while these beautiful souls are saved and restored to God, the Devil has kept them from believing sin’s power is BROKEN! Listen to me read this life changing truth from Romans chapter 6 below.

Sweet friends. The Devil is a liar. By the blood of Christ you are free from the chains of sin. Don’t waste that truth!!! You are now free to begin to explore life (here on earth) with the Spirit. That means God wants to watch you live out your quest to bring others to him while learning to use the special and unique qualities given to you alone. When living by the Spirit’s leading and using the talents God gave just you, you have the ability to showcase a part of God’s heart to the world around you. You have been restored my beautiful friend. Don’t still live as a slave to sin when you could be living THIS way! Listen to me read Romans chapter 8 verses 1-11 to see the earthly difference Christ’s resurrection power makes.

So I’m going to ask you again. What difference does Easter make? If the only difference is eternity (while ginormously important) you are missing an opportunity to do life with the Spirit and shine your gifts for his glory. Sin’s power has been broken. Live free and explore the dreams God has planted in your heart. Easter marks a new life we have been welcomed into. Go after it with both hands open right here on earth! You don’t have to wait for heaven to experience God. Listen to the song below to start thinking about next steps for TODAY.

liz goss

Satan is a One Trick Pony

by Liz Goss2 Comments on Satan is a One Trick Pony
St. Michael expelling Lucifer and the Rebel Angels
Artist: Peter Paul Rubens (ca. 1622)
Museo Nacional Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid

In Isaiah 14:12-15 we read why Satan was thrown out of Heaven. Oh yes, he was an angel once but… “How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit.” Satan wanted to be like God.

But enough ancient history, let’s look at how humanity fell from the perfect relationship with God we once shared in the garden. We all know it was Satan who tricked her but what exactly did he say? Do you know? I mean most people brought up with the Bible know the story but I bet you can’t quite put your finger on what he tempted her with. It wasn’t just a delicious apple. Genesis 3:5 tells us that Satan told Eve, “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” It was a calculated, diabolical move that Satan knew would get us separated from God like he had been once before. Satan convinced Eve she could be like God.

And Satan is a master at gaslighting humans. He manipulates the world in such a way that leads us to question our thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around us. His greatest weapon is… forgetfulness. Because if he can get us to lose track of EXACTLY what happened in the past we just might fall for it again. Oh and he loves to try his one trick on us all, whispering:

Do you really need to tithe when you could use that money to buy new clothes? You don’t need to follow what God says, you can decide what’s right just as well as God can. ☠️

Gluttony is not a sin in 2021. It’s been a hard year. It’s called self care. Okay so it’s in Proverbs 23 but those are “proverbs” not laws. You do you. ☠️

Sexual immorality? That whole phrase is super vague. I mean… in Matthew 5 it says that if you LOOK lustfully at a woman you have committed adultery in your heart. Don’t you think that’s an impossibly high standard? ☠️

Every time Satan suggests that “it doesn’t really matter this time” he is asking us to believe we are just as good at judging right and wrong as God is. Friends… this the the ultimately audacity of blasphemy straight from Satan. We are not like God. We were created to be in close relationship with Him but that does not mean we are on His level.

Satan is a one trick pony. He has one trick. Just one. And that is to convince you and me and all of humanity that we are just as good as God. It’s what caused him to fall from heaven and he’s good at spreading his fall by causing us to forget. But we won’t! Remember that you will do what is right because God is God and we are not. He is our loving Heavenly Father who would never withhold any good thing (Luke12:32). We can trust his heart. He is for us (Romans 8:32). So next time you wonder if choosing the right really matters… it does. For the love of Christ compelled us (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

liz goss

Tiptoeing into 2021

by Liz Goss3 Comments on Tiptoeing into 2021
Tiptoeing into 2021

I’ve seen so many quotes about 2020 vs 2021 and the sense I get is this… please don’t cause more trouble!! It’s like we have all reached a limit where we just don’t want anything harder. And I get that. So many difficult and life changing things have happened. For some 2020 was a big inconvenience. For others businesses and loved ones were lost. And lots and lots of people got sick. So here we find ourselves sticking just a baby toe into the waters of 2021.

Usually this time of year is fraught with strong resolutions. We are feeling empowered to change something or start something new. And I’m here on your screen to encourage you to keep going after being the best you can be. Keep trying, keep pressing, keep asking God for what you need. Don’t let the disappointments and frustrations of last year cause this year to pass you by. And here is why…

Matthew 7:7 says “ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

I know. It’s so easy to look at these verses and snort. I can literally hear some of you saying, “That’s bunk. God didn’t answer any of my prayers last year. The whole year was a flop.” And I sympathize with you because if you take this verse to mean God will follow up your requests with a big YES you have every right to feel really wronged. But unfortunately that’s not how Matthew intended us to understand this verse.

See pronouns can be tricky and as a person with a degree in English Literature, I want to tell you something important. Pronouns are words like I, you, he, this, it, who and what and they replace the noun in a sentence. However, in so doing pronouns can create ambiguity. Like in the verse above. I’ll show you:

  • ask, and it will be given to you = what does it refer to?
  • seek, and you will find = find what?
  • knock, and it will be opened to you = again with the it, what will be opened?

Usually, when a pronoun is ambiguous the listener personalizes the sentence in the best way they think it should go. In this case it is perfectly natural to assume that Matthew means:

  • ask, and what you asked for will be given to you
  • seek, and what you seek for you will find
  • knock, and the door you knocked on will open

But that’s just not the case. God is not pretending to be our secret Santa in these verses. Instead, God is giving us the secret to a better relationship with… Himself. Because these verses actually mean:

  • ask for a savior and he will be given to you
  • seek a relationship with Christ and you will find it
  • knock on the gates of Heaven and they will be opened to you

This beautiful verse points out that prayer is not so much to influence God, but to change the one praying. Isaiah 65:24 says “before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear” and that is not because he is waiting to be our genie with 3 wishes. It is because he loves us and wants to give us the riches of heaven.

You don’t need to tiptoe into 2021. I can’t promise anything about what this year will actually manifest but I do know that Hebrews 13:8 says “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” This means that even in 2021 you can ask, seek and knock and have the wonders and riches of God come alive in your heart and mind. So in closing I will leave you with (what I believe) is the best mantra to keep on repeat in our heads throughout this year.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

P.S. In case you’re curious about the sculpture at the top of this article, it is called Toe In The Water and was created by Bob Quinn. To see more of his interesting work check out his website: http://bobquinn.ie/

liz goss

If the Lord is God Follow Him

by Liz Goss1 Comment on If the Lord is God Follow Him
If the Lord is God Follow Him

We are in a new year – 2021 – and I know there is a lot we need to leave behind. If I am going to be my best self after a year of yoga pants it’s going to be a choice. So here are seven things I tend to do when I am emotionally or physically at my limit – that I need to leave far behind in 2020.

  1. 🏃🏼‍♀️💨 running from problems
  2. ☠️ abandoning relationships
  3. 💬 forgetting what God has done
  4. 🚫 focusing on what God isn’t doing
  5. 👶🏼 assuming nobody else has it as tough
  6. 🚧 giving up
  7. 🤹🏼‍♀️ being very confused about my goals

Now there are lots and LOTS of specific verses dealing with problems and forgetfulness and giving up but I think what Elijah said in 1 Kings 18:21 pretty much sums up what I need to do: “And Elijah came near to all the people and said, “How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him.”

Choices matter. One of the greatest blessings God created in us was free will, but we must use our power to choose correctly. I believe the Lord is God, so I must choose to follow him. I must choose to follow God’s will for my life by facing my problems with determination. I need to prioritize relationships, remember what God has done and focus on what God is doing. I need to stop making assumptions about others, stick with things and be clear on my goals. If the Lord is God, follow him.

That being said, change is difficult. Whoever finds a way to bottle and market motivation and self-discipline will make a fortune. But because that person is NOT me I’ll just give you five ways that help me approach change:

  1. Focus on a change of heart (deep heart-felt desires), not just a change of mind & behavior.
  2. Practice self-discipline. Did you know that self-control is a muscle that, like other muscles, needs exercise and strengthening. Change doesn’t happen because you want it to happen. Each time you resist temptation, you are developing greater self-control.
  3. Eliminate temptation. Whether it is a physical dependence or a psychological dependence, any temptation will distract you from your goals.
  4. Make history your teacher, not your jailer. Instead of beating yourself up when you fail to keep your promises to yourself, seek to gain self-knowledge so you won’t repeat the error.
  5. Surround yourself with people who will support your effort. We are much more influenced by other people than we imagine. One of the most potent forces for positive change is the emotional support of the individuals who surround you.

Do you want to kick the 7 pitfalls to a good 2021 and develop the ability to follow the Lord no matter what?! Use these 5 tips to help you change. We’ve got this beautiful friends!