relationships – Grow Anyway

You Can Experience God Now!

September 21, 2022September 20, 2022by Liz Goss1 Comment

Could it be that God needs to grow us into people who can handle having a deeply personal relationship with Him? It is always easy to point our faces to the sky in exasperation and wonder where God is. After all, we are trying to find Him. We are seeking. Isn’t that our job? To seek?

This my friends is limbo land and we’ve probably all taken up residence here at some point in our lives. Feeling like we are holding up our end of the bargain and begging God to just show up. Seeking. Knocking. Very focused on getting right before God and trying to manage our inevitable disappointment because we just can’t feel Him.

But while we are focused on feeling God’s presence, finding God’s will and knowing what He wants us to do, God is just… here. I know it sounds too good to be true after all our trouble and effort but it’s actually (sorry) not required. Our striving doesn’t earn His notice. He is noticing you right now.

And that’s why I say God may need to grow us to a place where we are able to have a beautiful relationship with Him. Because He is always with us. Jesus’ parting words to His disciples were: “and be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew‬ ‭28:20‬)

God is always calling you to see more true reality. He is always looking for your gaze. Never doubt His perpetual protection or wonderful nature. We just need to get better at understanding Him. We need to learn who He is so we recognize Him. Keep our spirits open and sensitive by thinking on holy things. And most of all, we need to believe that God is with us because all too often we find exactly what we are looking for.

Experiencing God isn’t just about doing more – it’s about seeing more clearly.

VERSES TO PONDER:

“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” (Psalms 91:4)

“Why do you ask my name?” the angel of the Lord replied. “It is too wonderful for you to understand.” (Judges 13:18)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready,” (1 Corinthians 3:1-2)

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

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Creative Conflict

June 2, 2021June 1, 2021by Guest BloggerLeave a Comment

How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? See it as demoralizing and fearful? Or might you perceive conflict as an opportunity for growth and a strengthening of bonds? The Bible has a compelling story of creative conflict management in 2 Samuel 17. Take a moment to read the story of two hot-heads, David and Nabal, and one creative thinker, negotiator and communicator named Abigail.

When Nabal is asked by King David’s servants for a hand-out, he reacts by insulting the king, refusing to meet their desperate need for food. David does not stop to think, pray, or assess the situation. He, like Nabal, puts his foot on the emotional gas and threatens to leave no son of his alive because of this drunken fool’s refusal. When Abigail learns that death now threatens her family, she calmly stays in touch with her feelings and carefully considers how to respond. Abigail empathizes with David’s plight, staying calm, non-defensive and respectful when she takes food to David.

She faces the conflict head-on, but respectfully seeks a win-win for both her family and for David, refusing to be paralyzed by anger or fear. Then this resourceful woman communicates to David that the blood-shed he is contemplating is going to hurt his relationship with God then asks the king to forgive her husband and to hold nothing against her. Abigail boldly advocates for herself asking David to remember her when the conflict is resolved.

You and I can benefit from Abigail’s conflict-resolutions skills if we are willing to ask the Holy Spirit to help us put the following strategies into practice:

Let go of the need to win or be declared right. We can effectively handle conflict when our goal is the restoration of relationship, not winning. We need to be reminded that God loves us whether we are top dog or not.
Let go of the past. Focus on the present, not past grudges, so that what can be done in the here-and-now isn’t lost in chaotic memories.
Let go of the need for revenge. We can resolve conflict if we release the urge to punish and if we are willing renounce the following: dwelling on the incident, bringing it up again, re-hashing the incident with others, and letting the incident stand between us and others.
Let go and disengage when a discussion is not fruitful. We can often try again especially after learning better communication skills and seeking the help of professionals in this area.
Let go of the need to handle conflict without help. God is happy to give us wisdom and discernment when we ask Him for help in hard-to-have conversations. We can ask God for a strengthening of our character for stronger conflict resolution skills and for safe others to guide us.

Any conflict has the potential to teach us about ourselves and deepen our understanding and empathy for others. As you and I are willing to work with God and safe others on our own issues, we will learn to respectfully approach others when conflicts arise. God’s desire is always the re-creation of deep and healthy connections in our relationships.

For further reading:

Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 6:14
Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4, 18, 22, 28, 32

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Art Note: Painting is oil on panel by Sir Peter Paul Rubens entitled The Meeting of David and Abigail circa 1630.]

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Love is a Highway

April 7, 2021April 7, 2021by Susan Collins1 Comment

Life is a Highway, I wanna ride it all night long! ♫♩♯

This song was originally recorded by Tom Cochrane in 1991. The song was originally conceived in the 1980’s with the working title “Love is a Highway.” Then was made popular again in 2006 by its use in the movie Cars.

Highways are interesting things. They are so common to us that we don’t see them as an invasion of the environment, but that’s exactly what they are. They are envisioned, created, and maintained by humans for our convenience.

Sometimes religion is like that. Religion can be so much a part of our interactions with God, that we fail to see it as an invasion of that relationship. In the Resurrection message, Matt talked about how God was robbed of the relationship He had intended to have with humankind. Then he set out on a journey to reconcile that relationship.

Like most highways, that journey has lots of ups, downs, twists and turns. Several side roads that eventually make us turn around and go back to where we started.

Human nature is to want the road to look like this:

Or I at least want other people to THINK this is what my highway looks like!

For most of us it actually looks like this:

As I contemplate what Jesus went through from Palm Sunday through Resurrection Sunday, I think of a bumpy, curvy, unpredictable road. He knew what was going to happen, and He still willingly went into the journey to restore the relationship between humans and God.

When I think of the working title “Love is a Highway” as it relates to God’s love for me it becomes very personal.

Jesus didn’t make a turn down a side street then find out it was not where He wanted to go. He intentionally and deliberately set off on a journey down the most dangerous highway imaginable because He loves you and me. Religion can be a vehicle on the highway to God, but it is not the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That is Jesus.

God has given us the relationship that restores what was stolen from Him and us in the garden. Will you accept the gift? It comes completely free….that’s Amazing Grace!

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Rebuild Trust

March 10, 2021March 9, 2021by amyoberg5 Comments

Can trust be rebuilt? Trust has been lost over the last year in a host of ways. It is not hard to see systems break down in our society, career paths squashed, and relationships took a huge hit in our world. Families, friends and just about every one of our relationships were challenged in trust…including our relationship with God.

What happens when things are broken in a relationship? How do we rebuild?

Recently, I heard a Ted Talks on this topic and it talked about rebuilding trust taking three things: authenticity, logic and empathy. These three pieces need to be present when working on a broken relationship.

Authenticity: We really need to be authentic in our relationships or then it is not a real relationship. (Psalm 119:73-74)

Empathy: Empathy is required to have a mutual relationship. It is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. (Galatians 6:2-3)

Logic: This part of the triangle fascinated me! Logic is the form of communication necessary to have understanding. (I know this is where people throw their hands up and determine that rebuilding trust requires the other person to be logical…but both parties need understanding). She drew a simple triangle to explain logic. (Proverbs 3:5)

Start with the story? Many of us start with story and maybe, maybe get to the point sometime in the future. When there is no trust or empathy, then the story will probably fog up the logic and create confusion in understanding if we ever get to the point.

Start with the point? Most of us should start with the point so it is not lost in the story. When rebuilding trust, we may have an opportunity to share the story when trust is built by the point.

This is an incredible formula that can be used in every relationship. Think about how you implement this in your life. When I am with people I trust, I tell them the whole story because the all details matter. When I am with someone I don’t trust, I usually get to the point pretty quick (and maybe I should more quickly). I usually try to tell people the story so they have empathy, but I’m learning it doesn’t work that way. Many times when I am telling a story and I see someone mentally check out…I should get to the point and wrap it up.

Hopefully you can take this formula into your life and put it to good use. While human relationships are hard, God does not need a formula. He loves you just the way you are, he is with you in your emotion, and he understands your story. Trust Him while rebuilding trust in other relationships.