life – Page 3 – Grow Anyway

Creative Conflict

June 2, 2021June 1, 2021by Guest BloggerLeave a Comment

How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? See it as demoralizing and fearful? Or might you perceive conflict as an opportunity for growth and a strengthening of bonds? The Bible has a compelling story of creative conflict management in 2 Samuel 17. Take a moment to read the story of two hot-heads, David and Nabal, and one creative thinker, negotiator and communicator named Abigail.

When Nabal is asked by King David’s servants for a hand-out, he reacts by insulting the king, refusing to meet their desperate need for food. David does not stop to think, pray, or assess the situation. He, like Nabal, puts his foot on the emotional gas and threatens to leave no son of his alive because of this drunken fool’s refusal. When Abigail learns that death now threatens her family, she calmly stays in touch with her feelings and carefully considers how to respond. Abigail empathizes with David’s plight, staying calm, non-defensive and respectful when she takes food to David.

She faces the conflict head-on, but respectfully seeks a win-win for both her family and for David, refusing to be paralyzed by anger or fear. Then this resourceful woman communicates to David that the blood-shed he is contemplating is going to hurt his relationship with God then asks the king to forgive her husband and to hold nothing against her. Abigail boldly advocates for herself asking David to remember her when the conflict is resolved.

You and I can benefit from Abigail’s conflict-resolutions skills if we are willing to ask the Holy Spirit to help us put the following strategies into practice:

Let go of the need to win or be declared right. We can effectively handle conflict when our goal is the restoration of relationship, not winning. We need to be reminded that God loves us whether we are top dog or not.
Let go of the past. Focus on the present, not past grudges, so that what can be done in the here-and-now isn’t lost in chaotic memories.
Let go of the need for revenge. We can resolve conflict if we release the urge to punish and if we are willing renounce the following: dwelling on the incident, bringing it up again, re-hashing the incident with others, and letting the incident stand between us and others.
Let go and disengage when a discussion is not fruitful. We can often try again especially after learning better communication skills and seeking the help of professionals in this area.
Let go of the need to handle conflict without help. God is happy to give us wisdom and discernment when we ask Him for help in hard-to-have conversations. We can ask God for a strengthening of our character for stronger conflict resolution skills and for safe others to guide us.

Any conflict has the potential to teach us about ourselves and deepen our understanding and empathy for others. As you and I are willing to work with God and safe others on our own issues, we will learn to respectfully approach others when conflicts arise. God’s desire is always the re-creation of deep and healthy connections in our relationships.

For further reading:

Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 6:14
Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4, 18, 22, 28, 32

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Art Note: Painting is oil on panel by Sir Peter Paul Rubens entitled The Meeting of David and Abigail circa 1630.]

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One Big P.U.S.H.

May 26, 2021May 25, 2021by Guest Blogger1 Comment

They told him, “This is what Hezekiah says: This day is a day of distress and rebuke and disgrace, as when children come to the moment of birth and there is no strength to deliver them. – 2 Kings 19:3 [NIV]

Do you enjoy epic adventure stories that spill across a big screen with badly outnumbered good guys fighting bravely against the bad guys who are threatening their very existence? I sure do! Two chapters, 18 and 19 in 2 Kings are particular favorites of mine because of the way a terrified King Hezekiah responds to the vile threats breathed against him and God by the invading King Sennacherib and his field commander. If you take a moment and read those blood-curdling chapters, you will discover King Hezekiah’s healthy response to a sickening situation.

911!

King Hezekiah first admits that he is in over his head, asking the prophet Isaiah to pray (2 Kings 19:2). When you and I are in trouble, asking prayer warriors to intercede for us is a healthy strategy that connects us to one another and to God.

Read this, God!

When King Sennacherib doubles down by putting his taunts and blasphemy into a letter, the King takes all that evil ridicule into the temple of the LORD, spreads it out before God and takes his battle position by hitting his knees (2 Kings 19:14-19).

There are times we just run out of words when that terrifying letter, text or social media post is opened. Like King Hezekiah, we can call out, “Read this, God! Only You can tell me what to do! Only You can deliver me out of this mess. I am not making a move until I hear from You.”

Wait for the P.U.S.H.

King Hezekiah waited before God without making any impulsive or rash moves. Maybe not having energy for that last, big push was a blessing, forcing the king to sit tight and trust God. Hezekiah wasn’t disappointed. That night, we are told, that the angel of the Lord puts to death 185,000 men, forcing Sennacherib home where his own sons assassinate him while he is worshiping his god (2 Kings 19:35-37).

Today, with Jesus in our hearts, we have access to the power and personality of His Spirit in our lives. The Holy Spirit gives us the gifts and fruits we need (Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Corinthians 12:8-10). These powerful gifts create unity if we are willing to cooperate (Ephesians 4:3). God’s Spirit inside of us helps us work with people we ordinarily wouldn’t tolerate. The Holy Spirit also supervises the church, comforting, guiding, praying, freeing, and bearing witness to our salvation. The Holy Spirit also, over time, makes us holy. He cleanses us from sin and “me-sickness,” rubbing us against life’s washboard until our spots and stains are scrubbed away (1 Corinthians 6:11; Titus 3:4-7). You can find this idea and more in Max Lucado’s book: Unshakable Hope.

Are you willing to call out a 911 to God and safe others? Are you willing to pause, pray, and wait for the P.U.S.H of the Holy Spirit? God wants to fill you with all that He is. You have only to ask.

Meditate and Marinate:

Psalm 104:27-30
Acts 9:31
John 16:13
Romans 8:26
John 3:5-8

BY: Stephanie Murillo

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Name Without Shame

May 12, 2021May 12, 2021by Guest Blogger3 Comments

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. [Psalm 42:5 NIV]

Have you ever been ambushed by a tsunami of emotions that threatened to hi-jack the noble, mature, responsible you? Have you ever been a primal scream wrapped in skin? I have to raise both hands here and admit that for years I did not know what to do with the molten lava of feelings I often felt inside.

Happily, Christian teachers are now beginning to acknowledge our need to train, rather than try to manage our emotions honestly and without shame, a development that can bear so much fruit in our hearts and help us connect with our inner lives, with God, and with others.

One of the first skills I began to practice came from our God-given identity as “namers.” God gave Adam and Eve the job of giving names to the flora and fauna around them in the Garden of Eden, and we have been assigning names and labels from that day to this. Naming is a powerful tool, because identifying an emotion, issue, or worry, brings it out of the darkness into the light. What we acknowledge, can now be placed into God’s capable, competent, compassionate hands for healing and change. Naming is often the first step in managing that volcano inside.

In Psalm 42, King David is practicing an emotionally healthy strategy by looking inside himself and trying to name what is troubling him. He is engaging in some fruitful “self-talk” by not only asking this question, but also turning his focus on God as Savior and a giver of grace. Some scholars believe David wrote this when he was fleeing from his own son and could not enter God’s house to worship. In Psalm 42, he honestly names what is defining his life at present: a soul (mind, will, and emotions) drained dry by the tears of betrayal that have poured out day and night.

The pandemic has caused many of us to feel a level of disconnect we have never experienced before, but there is hope! A tidal wave of emotion may sweep over us, but as Charles Spurgeon says, “Grace swims!” So, how do we invite God into our emotional tempest?

ASK God for help to put a name to what is driving the storm inside us.
POUR out all that is inside to the only One strong enough and safe enough to handle our strong emotions.

Psalms 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 129, and 140 are examples of powerful and often not-too-noble feelings being poured out before God in the privacy of personal prayer. Then, we sit quietly before God asking Him to love us back to sanity, and to give us safe people to help us process our emotions. Remember, this is a process defined by God’s loving acceptance. No shame allowed!

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Bonus verses to look up later: Psalm 27:14 Psalm 37:7 Psalm 91:15 Romans 4:18-19]

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Praise God on Mother’s Day

May 5, 2021May 4, 2021by Liz GossLeave a Comment

“Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given.” – 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (NLT)

Sunday is Mother’s Day and I want to take the first sentence of this post to say: let this day be whatever you need it to be… but remember to be grateful. See, when I asked some friends about this yearly celebration I got feelings all over the map:

Love for my child and so much gratitude for being a mother.
Grief over a mother I am missing.
Struggling with mental health and have mixed feelings about being a mother.
Pain due to the mother daughter relationship I had.
Envy over those picture perfect moments that fill my social media feeds.
Empty ache over a child I lost even as I am grateful for the children I have.
Painful reminder that I’m not a mom yet.

Whatever Mother’s Day is or isn’t for you, it’s all okay. There’s room and space for the joy and the grief. It’s okay to talk about and feel all the sides of Mother’s Day. But because Mother’s Day is a day of celebration I challenge you all to spend some time preparing your heart to glorify God because of the gift of motherhood. We can all bring praise to God because of someone who personified a mother in our lives. There are three great ways (that popped into my brain) to carry out this exercise. So choose one or choose them all, but don’t forget to thank God for some aspect of moms this weekend.

WRITE – Put your thankfulness down in words. Thank your mother. Thank someone else’s mother. Be grateful for the ways you have been able to mother. Praise God for the ways he has mothered you. Pen to paper. Text. Write an email. Comment on this blog post. However you want to write out your thank you… do it.

ADVICE – We learn things from mothers and one amazing way to exalt motherhood is to share the advice we have received. Mom advice is priceless so glorify God by sharing some of it with others.

LAUGH – Being a mom can be… ridiculous. We do dumb things. Our kids do crazy stuff. We witness other mothers being off the wall geniuses. Let’s share some of this treasure trove and praise our good God for the laughs he’s brought along the way.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you need to cry today, cry. If you need to celebrate, celebrate. If you want to do both, do both. If you need to hide on Sunday and pretend it’s not Mother’s Day, that’s totally okay. From one woman to another, I give you permission to love yourself enough to ask for what you need from your loved ones for this day. But in the midst of all the things this world throws at us, let’s not forget to praise our God for the blessing of motherhood. Because through it all he is always good.

“Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 16:36

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An Underrated Blessing

April 28, 2021April 27, 2021by Guest Blogger1 Comment

As things continue to return to normal, I have been reminded that normal…is….busy! Run, run, run! Go, go, go. Some days there is barely a moment to catch your breath!

Because normal = busy, time seems to fly by. I blinked and I was graduating high school. I blinked and I was saying good-bye to my 20s. I blinked again and all 4 kids were in school. And I made the mistake of blinking again and my oldest is now almost 17 years old and when he stands up straight, he is looking me right in the eyes!

As I approach the halfway point in my life, I want to take the wisdom I have acquired, some of it which came at great cost (life’s tough lessons often don’t come cheap) and I want to apply that wisdom to the days that I have left. One of my goals for my second half is to fight twice as hard to give my time to my family. If I trade in my family time in order to be successful at work? That’s actually failure. Family must be first.

But there is an overlooked aspect of life, a blessing that God intended us to have, and with all of the things going on, it is often easily neglected. That neglected blessings is friendship. I have had this thought running through my head for a while now: “Friendship is a gift you give yourself.” Making time for friends, pursuing a quality person in friendship seems like a selfish thing to do. I feel like I almost have to give myself permission. With so much competition for time, you could feel guilty for creating some space to enjoy your friends.

Another reason we might neglect friendship is because relationships are messy. We can step on each other’s toes. We can get offended. Sometimes friendships end badly. I have had seasons where I have had walls up, because I didn’t want to get burned again. I look back on those seasons now and I wish I had taken the walls down sooner. I was missing the blessing that comes from friendship.

David in the Bible had a wonderful friend in Jonathan. David’s life was stressful! One minute King Saul wanted to hear David play his music, and the next minute, with no warning, he tried to kill David. Since he was in the service of King Saul there wasn’t much David could do about it. In this rough season of life, David found support from Jonathan, who was like a brother to him. Jonathan was a true friend.

Here are some characteristics of a true friend:

They always tells you what you need to hear, not what you necessarily want to hear!
They will be genuinely happy for you when blessings come your way. They won’t grumble about ‘how nothing good happens to them,’ they will celebrate their friends happiness!
They will hang in there with you, when you need them the most, even if it is unpopular. King Saul was not pleased with his son’s loyalty to David!

In this marathon called life, it isn’t good to run alone. Prioritize godly friends, and you will enjoy the journey!

By: Matt Larson (senior pastor at journey church)

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Easter Resolutions

April 14, 2021April 13, 2021by Liz Goss2 Comments

When 2021 came around it was universally accepted that we were out with the old and in with the new. Of course we hoped to be “out” with masks, social distancing & eating outside and “in” with hugs, parties & traveling. We made personal resolutions to stop eating so much and spend more time at the gym. And whether any of the outs really out-ed or ins really in-ed was never exactly the point, it’s the ferver with which we HOPE things will change when the calendar does that wins our hearts every year.

Easter is the Christian new year. Lent begins the holiday season and by Easter we are always primed to make our spiritual resolutions. This year I will stop taking Jesus for granted and have a relationship with God. This year I will trust God with my finances and start to tithe. This year I will put down the idol that I’m so drawn towards (drinking, food, shopping, relationships, money, etc.) and focus on letting God fill my emptiness. In the final Easter sermons we are primed for repentance.

But as Paul says to the Galatians, who cut in on you? I’m guessing that already (April 14th) you’ve messed up your resolution. I know I have! Galatians 5:7-8 says, “You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom.” See, like pastor Matt on Easter, Paul made it clear to the Galatians that in Christ they were truly free. Free from the power of sin and free to live under God’s grace. Just like us.

So why would we ever want to give up the freedom we found in Christ that refreshed our hearts on Easter? Bondage is subtle. Our New Years resolutions and our Easter resolutions often fall to a slow dependence on behaviors, substances and attitudes that give us security. But… as we turn our lives over to God, he will graciously give us the power we need to overcome.

Last Sunday Pastor Kyle at Journey Church, reminded us that we don’t need a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night to guide us. While it seems super helpful, we actually have something better as Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:16-17: “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

Resolutions aren’t bad. They are usually the prompting of the Holy Spirit, showing us where we could be living better for God and his kingdom. But in our own power we are usually unable to keep them. So let me encourage you in this… God desires a relationship with you. He didn’t die to make you better behaved. He didn’t die so that you’d finally follow the rules. He died because he loves you. He wants to know you, do life with you and spend forever enjoying you. Because he made you.

If you felt God stirring your heart this Easter I hope you resolve to be HIS this next year. Spend time with the one who knows you best and loves you most. Everything else you could possibly resolve to do will come in his timing, if you let the Holy Spirit guide you into doing life with God.

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Love is a Highway

April 7, 2021April 7, 2021by Susan Collins1 Comment

Life is a Highway, I wanna ride it all night long! ♫♩♯

This song was originally recorded by Tom Cochrane in 1991. The song was originally conceived in the 1980’s with the working title “Love is a Highway.” Then was made popular again in 2006 by its use in the movie Cars.

Highways are interesting things. They are so common to us that we don’t see them as an invasion of the environment, but that’s exactly what they are. They are envisioned, created, and maintained by humans for our convenience.

Sometimes religion is like that. Religion can be so much a part of our interactions with God, that we fail to see it as an invasion of that relationship. In the Resurrection message, Matt talked about how God was robbed of the relationship He had intended to have with humankind. Then he set out on a journey to reconcile that relationship.

Like most highways, that journey has lots of ups, downs, twists and turns. Several side roads that eventually make us turn around and go back to where we started.

Human nature is to want the road to look like this:

Or I at least want other people to THINK this is what my highway looks like!

For most of us it actually looks like this:

As I contemplate what Jesus went through from Palm Sunday through Resurrection Sunday, I think of a bumpy, curvy, unpredictable road. He knew what was going to happen, and He still willingly went into the journey to restore the relationship between humans and God.

When I think of the working title “Love is a Highway” as it relates to God’s love for me it becomes very personal.

Jesus didn’t make a turn down a side street then find out it was not where He wanted to go. He intentionally and deliberately set off on a journey down the most dangerous highway imaginable because He loves you and me. Religion can be a vehicle on the highway to God, but it is not the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That is Jesus.

God has given us the relationship that restores what was stolen from Him and us in the garden. Will you accept the gift? It comes completely free….that’s Amazing Grace!

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Perseverance in Storms

March 17, 2021March 16, 2021by Guest Blogger3 Comments

I was asking Amy what the topic was to write on and before I got that question out of my mouth or shall I say onto my keyboard, here came these words…Perseverance in storms.

May I just tell you I hate to talk or write about these things. I don’t want to sound like some puffed up guru on suffering because I have had my fair share of it (as many of you have) or like I know all the things and glided through these storms with such Christlike character and grace everyone who watched stood in awe. Now, I know there are some ladies who have done this, and I applaud them and maybe even envy them a little if we’re going to be honest; but I personally wasn’t one of them. I fussed and cussed and wept, I prayed and begged, bargained and reasoned and fasted then finally, and I do I mean finally, surrendered and accepted His will over my own. To be honest some days (were down to minutes now not all day) I am still licking wounds of stuff I just down right can’t understand. BUT that being said, this does not nullify the Love nor the Faithfulness of my Mighty God.

My mighty God is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yep, my God heard me say those things I wished I could take back when I didn’t think I could breathe through the pain or ever truly smile again. You see my Bible says He knows me; He knows how I am formed. He remembers I am just DUST…that’s right…I’m dirt and I can act as low as it with enough pain or frustration in my heart. The only time I am above this is when He mercifully breathes His life into me, and Hallelujah He does!!! In the south when someone is acting a fool you will hear the words ‘Bless your heart, your slip is showing”. God has seen my slip more times than I care to remember and yet loves me still.

Okay so about this perseverance in the storm. What does the above several paragraphs have to do with all of this…EVERYTHING! God did not ask me to be fake and phony with a false hallelujah on my lips as my sister, husband, niece and finally Poppie lay breathing their last.

Deb, my sister, died when I was only a few years into my recovery (by the way she hated me calling her Deb, she was my big sis…tough now sis, love you!). That about flung me so far into space I thought I might never land back on planet earth. It isn’t just that she had died, but she died in her addiction…the one I had just been miraculously delivered from. The one I had just took a best friend’s sister to go get help and she was delivered from! What??? Why?

Eric, my husband, passed Aug 29, 2018 exactly five years and one day from when his beautiful young wife had died of cancer before we married. Now his girls have no mom and no dad. (Yes, I am there BUT I am not themmmmm). That was space travel number two.

Seriah, my niece, had just helped another young lady get to work because she didn’t have a vehicle. While doing a kind deed (this wasn’t just a practice of her it was who she was) she was t-boned and broken in more places than I care to remember. We clung, I mean ferociously clung, to Psalm 27:13, “I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”. We wrote it in her hospital room, we prayed it, we sang over her, we wept and held on for dear life, 27 years old y’all, 27 years old and now gone. I can still see her huge blue eyes, and ache to look into them some days. This is deep space.

Poppie, my dear Poppa, every two hours more meds and more meds and cleanings and rolling to prevent bed sores and shallow breaths. I was watching my mom be ripped in two and wondering if she would survive it (My mom has such precious faith, her and Jesus are doing good…she is finding her way through the valley of the shadow of death and Jesus is championing her through it). He promised me He would care for her. He has never failed on one promise NEVER. This is a whole other galaxy.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because Beloved, I want you to be real and vulnerable and honest as to where you are in your sufferings or storms. Did you notice the word perseverance had the word SEVERE right in the middle of it? If we saw someone go through a severe physical incident we wouldn’t be like “hey you smile and press on”…NO! We would be completely honest about the condition of their body so they could have proper care to be restored. LADIES, it is the same with conditions of the heart, psyche, and spirit. Broken is Broken. But Healed is Healed. You cannot be healed without the truth, period! It doesn’t work that way. Jesus is The Way, The TRUTH and The life. He is not afraid of the truth He IS the truth He lives there He dwells there. Don’t hide in the shadows, come out and speak to Him, let Him heal you. Loving you and praying for you. He is faithful and ever will be. Tiff

PS. I landed back here in the Everlasting Arms.