Flip the Narrative

Flip the Narrative

I am very ugly
so don’t try to convince me that
I’m a very beautiful person
because at the end of the day
I hate myself in every single way
And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying
There’s beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured I will always remind myself
That I am a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
I still deserve love
Because no matter what
I am not good enough to be loved
And I am in no position to believe that
Beauty does exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

👉🏻 NOW, read from the bottom to the top! 👈🏻

It’s all about perspective! What story are you telling yourself in the mirror every single day? Flip the narrative and change the story, it will change your life. I get it, you are saying Liz… if it was that easy we’d all be problem free. And I know changing your perspective is hard. We are usually pretty committed to our perspectives. We have invested a lot in them.

Kind of like Jonah. He was a prophet and committed to telling people to repent and be saved. He did it well. So well, that when God told him to go preach repentance to Nineveh Jonah said “no way”! When he preached people changed and Jonah didn’t want Nineveh to be saved. They were BAD NEWS. So God had to give Jonah a new perspective, being swallowed by a whale.

Inside the whale Jonah finally got the idea that God was in control and God was the one who could save. He got the narrative straightened out. And once he was seeing clearly God could use Jonah again.

Is there a narrative that you need to flip? What are you telling yourself that isn’t true. Maybe you think you are in control when you need to trust. Maybe you are calling ugly what God has called beautiful. Maybe you are running from what you know God has called you to.

Flip the narrative by praying like Jonah! (chapter 2)

Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the belly of the fish, saying, “I called out to the LORD, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice. For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me. Then I said, ‘I am driven away from your sight; yet I shall again look upon your holy temple.’ The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple. Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the LORD!” And the LORD spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land.

The Anchor Holds though the Ship is Battered

The Anchor Holds though the Ship is Battered

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:2

The Run Free series of sermons has REALLY been powerful. I have been encouraged, convicted, and challenged through every sermon.

This past Sunday, Pastor Rick Blickenstaff took on the monuments topic of doubt and unbelief. Two of the metaphors he used really struck a strong chord within me were: the Anchor and the Post of Honor.

THE ANCHOR

In my last post, I talked about facing the empty nest as a single parent. This is my story of how the life I had planned and the life that I have do not match up. I have wrestled with many ideas connected to this incongruity in my life. The one constant that I have never wavered on is that God is in control.

Pastor Rick told us that the physics behind the rope and anchor is that the load it can bear should be five times more than the load it carries. WOW! That’s a lot of strength. More strength that I have ever had at any point in my life. I know that as I have trudged through the quicksand of depression, confusion, and despair the load that I carried was ALL that I could bear. Fortunately, I am not the anchor in my life. Jesus is my anchor, and that load is way less than 1/5 of the load He can bear.

THE POST OF HONOR

My post of honor is multi-faceted.

  • I am living as a single person in a world that promotes a sinful lifestyle for singles.
  • I have raised two children by myself.
  • I am a prodigal parent.

That is the race marked out for me at this time in my life. We all have difficulty in our personal races. It’s easy to look at other people’s social media feed and think that they have the perfect life. Remember that is the highlight reel. Most of us do not share our struggles publicly. They are reserved for the people who have earned the right to share our vulnerability.

If you’re trudging through quick sand, reach out. There is someone who has been down a similar path or paid the dues to join that awful club before you. If you don’t know anyone, contact Amy. She’ll be gentle, compassionate, and discreet. Just don’t struggle alone.

Sunday is not for Sleeping

Sunday is not for Sleeping

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. Genesis 2:1-3

Anxiety and 2020 were like two sides of the same coin. One minute you were coping like a boss and the next you couldn’t concentrate because your kids are tapping on everything with chopsticks. There were so many afternoons when I would have loved a nap… and I actually did take quite a few.

But exhausted and over it, frustrated and bored longing for a nap isn’t how I picture God on the seventh day. After all, Isaiah 40:28 says “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.

So if God wasn’t tired why didn’t he just keep on going? Well… maybe God knew that we needed to rest our hearts fully in HIM once a week. Before the fall we were constantly immersed in God’s presence. We were created for that life. And in the above verses from Genesis God has given us this instruction: yes we must work hard, but we also need to restore our souls in Him.

Mark 2:27-28 says, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” This clearly points to the idea that God rested after creation to establish what He wanted US to do.

So was God napping in Genesis 2? No. Not likely. He was finding rest in the expression of Himself as Creator. Likewise, true rest is stopping our busy lives, reflecting on God’s goodness to us and resting in the expression of who we are in God.

If you are struggling, perhaps you need to take time to rest in God. We were made for His presence! Below are a few practical ways to rest in Him. Please comment with more suggestions for us! We would love to know how you choose to rest in God.

  • Talk to a friend about your faith and encourage each other.
  • Read the Bible and find verses that comfort you.
  • Listen to a podcast, sermon or VeggieTales that makes you remember why you love God.
  • Be grateful for God’s gifts in your life.
  • Sing songs that worship God.
  • Go out in nature and enjoy the things He has made.
  • Sniff a kitty that has been laying in the sunshine (best smell God created).
  • Tell stories of God’s faithfulness in your family.

Running My Race

Running My Race

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2

The current sermon series of “Run Free” and The Grove topic of finding identity in Christ has really impacted me. I am in a season that changes a big part of my identity. My youngest child will be leaving home in August. The identity of “mom” daily is going away. Not that I will stop being a parent to my adult children, but it does change significantly.

I know many people who have faced this change in life and thrived by discovering not being tied to the daily tasks involved in parenting a child living in their home.

As with most significant changes in life, I dread and look forward to experiencing aspects of this change. In no particular order, some of those include:

  • the sound/noise level
  • the messes (or lack of)
  • companionship
  • the total at the grocery store
  • cooking dinner
  • laundry

My situation is not unique, but it is one that we don’t address directly very often. I am a single mom. When my youngest leaves in August, there will not be another human being living in my home. I will be back to living alone with the cat (a scenario I have not experienced for 24 years).

One aspect of the empty nest that I anticipate is a new layer of grief relating to my divorce. I have wrestled with being divorced over the past ten years. Being an empty nester was suppose to be a new season in our marriage. Instead, it is transitioning to a new season as a single person. Definitely NOT what I had in mind when I became a mom.

So what does this have to do with finding my identity in Christ and Running Free?

EVERYTHING!!

I know this was not God’s plan for my marriage, but I know that I am His beloved child. He gave every person free will, which will sometimes turn people we love and trust away from Him.

My race is choosing to follow God. Dropping the weights of anger, fear, and pain. Picking up the truth that I am a new creation in Christ. Keeping my focus on Him and celebrating this new season in life.

I anticipated change and have initiated some practices to ease this transition. I have been involved in ministries at Church (Journey groups, production team, Mexicali trip). I have taken on some leadership responsibilities professionally (policy advocacy work locally and on the state level, volunteering for committees at work, mentoring young professionals).

I may not be running the race that I envisioned 24 years ago when I married or 21 years ago when my oldest child was born. BUT I am running the race set before me, keeping my eyes on Jesus, and seeking to find my identity in Him.

Not Yet Across the Finish Line

Not Yet Across the Finish Line

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. [John 14:26 NIV]

Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to make it through some kind of boot camp? I have watched in awe and wonder as my niece tackled the challenges of the exercise boot camp she attends early in the morning at her local gym. Over time, my niece began to exit that steamy environment with more smiles and less groans. Her muscles became stronger and her stamina increased, a training-effect even I have felt with my much-more-modest efforts with free weights and consistent time on some exercise machines. Wimp that I am, I have never been successful without the encouragement of fellow sufferers and a gym rat or two to inspire me with those toned biceps and abs. Wait! Do I even have abs? They must be in there somewhere!

Perseverance is the key to reaching those seemingly far-off goals, a perseverance fueled by the energy of God’s Holy Spirit within us. Each of us have a mighty Coach that can energize every aspect of our lives, if we are willing to be guided by His truth, surrendered to His guidance, and empowered with a mind that learns to think and choose like Him. When the disciples were devastated by the news that Jesus was physically leaving them, He comforted them by explaining that He, who once was only with them, would now be in them, as the Holy Spirit (John 14:26), helping them across the finish line. Remember, the Holy Spirit will help you become the trained, mature you!

Why was the Holy Spirit so essential to them and still so essential to us? Life is hard, and often presents circumstances that are far beyond our ability to cope with them. We need help! How do we get to the next level as we tackle the tasks that mature us?

  1. Recognize that with Jesus in your heart, the old life is gone. Radical change is here! Paul wrote: [Galatians 2:20 NIV] I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
  2. Embrace God’s agenda for you. God has a better plan and mind-blowing growth in mind for you. [1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV] However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”–the things God has prepared for those who love him—
  3. Schedule significant amounts of time to be alone with God. When David’s family was taken captive and bitter tears fell, he “found strength in the LORD his God” (1 Samuel 30:6). Take time to invite the Holy Spirit into your current situation right now. Ask Him to fill you and pour out of you.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, help me to remember that You want to coach and guide me and train up my spiritual muscles so You can help me persevere all the way to the finish line. Help me find training time to spend with You. Amen.

For further reading

  • Acts 5:32
  • Acts 11:16
  • Acts 15:8
  • Romans 5:3-5
  • Romans 14:7
  • Romans 15:13
  • 1 Cor. 6:19

BY: Stephanie Murillo

Creative Conflict

Creative Conflict

How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? See it as demoralizing and fearful? Or might you perceive conflict as an opportunity for growth and a strengthening of bonds? The Bible has a compelling story of creative conflict management in 2 Samuel 17. Take a moment to read the story of two hot-heads, David and Nabal, and one creative thinker, negotiator and communicator named Abigail.

When Nabal is asked by King David’s servants for a hand-out, he reacts by insulting the king, refusing to meet their desperate need for food. David does not stop to think, pray, or assess the situation. He, like Nabal, puts his foot on the emotional gas and threatens to leave no son of his alive because of this drunken fool’s refusal. When Abigail learns that death now threatens her family, she calmly stays in touch with her feelings and carefully considers how to respond. Abigail empathizes with David’s plight, staying calm, non-defensive and respectful when she takes food to David.

She faces the conflict head-on, but respectfully seeks a win-win for both her family and for David, refusing to be paralyzed by anger or fear. Then this resourceful woman communicates to David that the blood-shed he is contemplating is going to hurt his relationship with God then asks the king to forgive her husband and to hold nothing against her. Abigail boldly advocates for herself asking David to remember her when the conflict is resolved.

You and I can benefit from Abigail’s conflict-resolutions skills if we are willing to ask the Holy Spirit to help us put the following strategies into practice:

  1. Let go of the need to win or be declared right. We can effectively handle conflict when our goal is the restoration of relationship, not winning. We need to be reminded that God loves us whether we are top dog or not.
  2. Let go of the past. Focus on the present, not past grudges, so that what can be done in the here-and-now isn’t lost in chaotic memories.
  3. Let go of the need for revenge. We can resolve conflict if we release the urge to punish and if we are willing renounce the following: dwelling on the incident, bringing it up again, re-hashing the incident with others, and letting the incident stand between us and others.
  4. Let go and disengage when a discussion is not fruitful. We can often try again especially after learning better communication skills and seeking the help of professionals in this area.
  5. Let go of the need to handle conflict without help. God is happy to give us wisdom and discernment when we ask Him for help in hard-to-have conversations. We can ask God for a strengthening of our character for stronger conflict resolution skills and for safe others to guide us.

Any conflict has the potential to teach us about ourselves and deepen our understanding and empathy for others. As you and I are willing to work with God and safe others on our own issues, we will learn to respectfully approach others when conflicts arise. God’s desire is always the re-creation of deep and healthy connections in our relationships.

For further reading:

  • Ephesians 4:32
  • Matthew 6:14
  • Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4, 18, 22, 28, 32

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Art Note: Painting is oil on panel by Sir Peter Paul Rubens entitled The Meeting of David and Abigail circa 1630.]

One Big P.U.S.H.

One Big P.U.S.H.

They told him, “This is what Hezekiah says: This day is a day of distress and rebuke and disgrace, as when children come to the moment of birth and there is no strength to deliver them. – 2 Kings 19:3 [NIV]

Do you enjoy epic adventure stories that spill across a big screen with badly outnumbered good guys fighting bravely against the bad guys who are threatening their very existence? I sure do! Two chapters, 18 and 19 in 2 Kings are particular favorites of mine because of the way a terrified King Hezekiah responds to the vile threats breathed against him and God by the invading King Sennacherib and his field commander. If you take a moment and read those blood-curdling chapters, you will discover King Hezekiah’s healthy response to a sickening situation.

911!

King Hezekiah first admits that he is in over his head, asking the prophet Isaiah to pray (2 Kings 19:2). When you and I are in trouble, asking prayer warriors to intercede for us is a healthy strategy that connects us to one another and to God.

Read this, God!

When King Sennacherib doubles down by putting his taunts and blasphemy into a letter, the King takes all that evil ridicule into the temple of the LORD, spreads it out before God and takes his battle position by hitting his knees (2 Kings 19:14-19).

There are times we just run out of words when that terrifying letter, text or social media post is opened. Like King Hezekiah, we can call out, “Read this, God! Only You can tell me what to do! Only You can deliver me out of this mess. I am not making a move until I hear from You.”

Wait for the P.U.S.H.

King Hezekiah waited before God without making any impulsive or rash moves. Maybe not having energy for that last, big push was a blessing, forcing the king to sit tight and trust God. Hezekiah wasn’t disappointed. That night, we are told, that the angel of the Lord puts to death 185,000 men, forcing Sennacherib home where his own sons assassinate him while he is worshiping his god (2 Kings 19:35-37).

Today, with Jesus in our hearts, we have access to the power and personality of His Spirit in our lives. The Holy Spirit gives us the gifts and fruits we need (Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Corinthians 12:8-10). These powerful gifts create unity if we are willing to cooperate (Ephesians 4:3). God’s Spirit inside of us helps us work with people we ordinarily wouldn’t tolerate. The Holy Spirit also supervises the church, comforting, guiding, praying, freeing, and bearing witness to our salvation. The Holy Spirit also, over time, makes us holy. He cleanses us from sin and “me-sickness,” rubbing us against life’s washboard until our spots and stains are scrubbed away (1 Corinthians 6:11; Titus 3:4-7). You can find this idea and more in Max Lucado’s book: Unshakable Hope.

Are you willing to call out a 911 to God and safe others? Are you willing to pause, pray, and wait for the P.U.S.H of the Holy Spirit? God wants to fill you with all that He is. You have only to ask.

Meditate and Marinate:

  • Psalm 104:27-30
  • Acts 9:31
  • John 16:13
  • Romans 8:26
  • John 3:5-8

BY: Stephanie Murillo

Do I have a hard heart?

Do I have a hard heart?

In the song Graves Into Gardens, there is a line in the second verse that says:

I’m not afraid to show you my weakness, My failures and flaws Lord you’ve seen them all

Are we afraid to show God our weaknesses or failures or flaws? Is it hard to confess our real feelings to God? When do we lay them before God and ask for his help to change our heart? Sometimes these unsaid, ignored weaknesses turn into a hardened heart.

It is not hard to see a person who has been taken over with bitterness—honestly it is hard to witness, watch or be on the receiving end. This is a good time in our world to talk about why God tells us “do not harden your heart” multiple times in the Bible.

Hearing this, everything in me bows my head to ask God…Do I have a hard heart? Truthfully, this is not an area I want to pay much attention to—most of the time I feel justified. The warning is that callousness starts somewhere soft and then builds into a hard heart. It creeps in without knowing it and the enemy turns it into a bitter root. But maybe there is room to bring these things before God so it doesn’t go on longer than it should.

What classifies as a hard heart? Let’s make sure we are all talking about the same thing. Can Christians have a hard heart? Yes! For me, it would be God asking me a question and my answer being “No!”, “no thank you.”, “lol, hard pass.” or any other version of “no” you can come up with. In my life, this is a danger zone and something I need to bring to God right away.

How can I bring it to God? Psalm 95 gives us some instruction and warning about a hardened heart. I have added some commentary.

Psalm 95

1 Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; (invitation to come to God)

    let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. (He is the Rock, the only person worthy of bringing our stuff to).

2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving (with thanksgiving and honor first)

    and extol him with music and song.

3 For the Lord is the great God, (the Lord is to be praised because he is GOD)

    the great King above all gods.

4 In his hand are the depths of the earth, (from the depths to the heights He made it all)

    and the mountain peaks belong to him.

5 The sea is his, for he made it, (don’t forget how big God is)

    and his hands formed the dry land.

6 Come, let us bow down in worship, (another invitation to acknowledge who God is)

    let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; (make sure we kneel in reverence)

7 for he is our God (proclamation of who God is to us)

    and we are the people of his pasture,

    the flock under his care.

Today, if only you would hear his voice, (Listen to God in what He is saying)

8 “Do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah (rebellion),

    as you did that day at Massah (trials) in the wilderness,

9 where your ancestors tested me;

    they tried me, though they had seen what I did. (remember what God did in other people’s lives’ and our own)

10 For forty years I was angry with that generation;

    I said, ‘They are a people whose hearts go astray,

    and they have not known my ways.’ (We are prone to wander if we do not know who God is)

11 So I declared on oath in my anger,

    ‘They shall never enter my rest.’” (There is no rest without God).

We are warned there is no rest without God. Hard hearts, rebellion or tested areas in our life will create unrest, anxiety, anger, impatience, snarkyness, harshness, and indulgence.  Bring callousness, hard heartedness, fear, failures, trials, doubts, and weaknesses to God. We are invited by God to bend our knee, remember who God is and worship Him in thanksgiving…then he can soften and change our hearts.

Name Without Shame

Name Without Shame

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. [Psalm 42:5 NIV]

Have you ever been ambushed by a tsunami of emotions that threatened to hi-jack the noble, mature, responsible you? Have you ever been a primal scream wrapped in skin? I have to raise both hands here and admit that for years I did not know what to do with the molten lava of feelings I often felt inside.

Happily, Christian teachers are now beginning to acknowledge our need to train, rather than try to manage our emotions honestly and without shame, a development that can bear so much fruit in our hearts and help us connect with our inner lives, with God, and with others.

One of the first skills I began to practice came from our God-given identity as “namers.” God gave Adam and Eve the job of giving names to the flora and fauna around them in the Garden of Eden, and we have been assigning names and labels from that day to this. Naming is a powerful tool, because identifying an emotion, issue, or worry, brings it out of the darkness into the light. What we acknowledge, can now be placed into God’s capable, competent, compassionate hands for healing and change. Naming is often the first step in managing that volcano inside.

In Psalm 42, King David is practicing an emotionally healthy strategy by looking inside himself and trying to name what is troubling him. He is engaging in some fruitful “self-talk” by not only asking this question, but also turning his focus on God as Savior and a giver of grace. Some scholars believe David wrote this when he was fleeing from his own son and could not enter God’s house to worship. In Psalm 42, he honestly names what is defining his life at present: a soul (mind, will, and emotions) drained dry by the tears of betrayal that have poured out day and night.

The pandemic has caused many of us to feel a level of disconnect we have never experienced before, but there is hope! A tidal wave of emotion may sweep over us, but as Charles Spurgeon says, “Grace swims!” So, how do we invite God into our emotional tempest?

  • ASK God for help to put a name to what is driving the storm inside us.
  • POUR out all that is inside to the only One strong enough and safe enough to handle our strong emotions.

Psalms 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 129, and 140 are examples of powerful and often not-too-noble feelings being poured out before God in the privacy of personal prayer. Then, we sit quietly before God asking Him to love us back to sanity, and to give us safe people to help us process our emotions. Remember, this is a process defined by God’s loving acceptance. No shame allowed!

BY: Stephanie Murillo

[Bonus verses to look up later: Psalm 27:14 Psalm 37:7 Psalm 91:15 Romans 4:18-19]

Praise God on Mother’s Day

Praise God on Mother’s Day

“Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given.” – 1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (NLT)

Sunday is Mother’s Day and I want to take the first sentence of this post to say: let this day be whatever you need it to be… but remember to be grateful. See, when I asked some friends about this yearly celebration I got feelings all over the map:

  • Love for my child and so much gratitude for being a mother.
  • Grief over a mother I am missing.
  • Struggling with mental health and have mixed feelings about being a mother.
  • Pain due to the mother daughter relationship I had.
  • Envy over those picture perfect moments that fill my social media feeds.
  • Empty ache over a child I lost even as I am grateful for the children I have.
  • Painful reminder that I’m not a mom yet.

Whatever Mother’s Day is or isn’t for you, it’s all okay. There’s room and space for the joy and the grief. It’s okay to talk about and feel all the sides of Mother’s Day. But because Mother’s Day is a day of celebration I challenge you all to spend some time preparing your heart to glorify God because of the gift of motherhood. We can all bring praise to God because of someone who personified a mother in our lives. There are three great ways (that popped into my brain) to carry out this exercise. So choose one or choose them all, but don’t forget to thank God for some aspect of moms this weekend.

WRITE – Put your thankfulness down in words. Thank your mother. Thank someone else’s mother. Be grateful for the ways you have been able to mother. Praise God for the ways he has mothered you. Pen to paper. Text. Write an email. Comment on this blog post. However you want to write out your thank you… do it.

ADVICE – We learn things from mothers and one amazing way to exalt motherhood is to share the advice we have received. Mom advice is priceless so glorify God by sharing some of it with others.

LAUGH – Being a mom can be… ridiculous. We do dumb things. Our kids do crazy stuff. We witness other mothers being off the wall geniuses. Let’s share some of this treasure trove and praise our good God for the laughs he’s brought along the way.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you need to cry today, cry. If you need to celebrate, celebrate. If you want to do both, do both. If you need to hide on Sunday and pretend it’s not Mother’s Day, that’s totally okay. From one woman to another, I give you permission to love yourself enough to ask for what you need from your loved ones for this day. But in the midst of all the things this world throws at us, let’s not forget to praise our God for the blessing of motherhood. Because through it all he is always good.

“Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 16:36