Grow Anyway

Twenty Critical Minutes

August 25, 2021by Guest Blogger1 Comment

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:5 [NIV]

We have all heard about counting to ten when we are angry. Now neuroscientists are telling us that a twenty-minute period after strong emotions wash over us is a critical period. Why is this? The amygdala, a walnut-shaped organ in the mid-brain, whose job it is to detect threat, needs twenty minutes after it “alerts” to calm down. During that time this little organ is hijacking electrical energy from the front of the brain where we think and plan, to the brain stem where we either fight or flee.

So, the moment we become anxious, what we do with that twenty-minute period immediately afterward is critical. We can send up a 9-1-1 prayer, recite Scripture we have memorized, drink a glass of water, or take a quick walk before letting ourselves react. Immediately moving to a worst-case scenario may become our go-to strategy without a steady diet of prayer, Scripture, and reminding ourselves that God can handle even this tsunami of strong emotion.

A theologian from Proverbs 31 Ministries recently pointed out that when we react instead of respond, our actions become “historical and hysterical.” Without training, we will default to old and often ineffective strategies when we are triggered by our amygdala.

You do have a choice.

The amazing part of all this “brain stuff” is that we do have a choice about where those impulses travel when we are angry, afraid, or experiencing any strong emotion, especially during that critical twenty-minute period. But the brain must be re-trained over a fairly long period of time to “take thoughts captive” when the heat is on. When we “take a thought captive” we are literally re-routing electrical impulses down a new neural path!

The brain initially resists this because it has already created “super-highways” of connected neurons. It doesn’t want to slow down to bushwhack through a new neural tangle when learning a new strategy or response. As we pray, read the Bible, memorize Scripture and meditate on it, our brains can learn to slow down to re-tool, re-set, and restructure. When stressed, we can eventually learn to use those critical twenty minutes to pray, “Lord, calm all my fears with Your love. Help me remember Your truth.”

The key is consistent training, which includes reading, memorization, meditation on what we read, and application of truth to a specific situation, all requiring the assistance of our personal Coach, the Holy Spirit. We can also pray, “Holy Spirit, please train me and cue me and give me the energy to respond rather than react when I become triggered emotionally.”

How old are you really?

One last thought: When we react after being triggered, we go to our true emotional age rather than our chronological age. If an unresolved trauma happened between four and fourteen, we react like the age we were when we were damaged and branded by that incident. That is why people act like deranged adolescents or a toddler having a tantrum when triggered in public. So, part of emotional/spiritual development is actively seeking healing and counseling for unresolved hurts from our past. That unlocks us from our stuck places and lets us grow up to use that twenty-minute period in a healthy manner.

By the way, many of today’s Christian psychologists and counselors believe that spiritual growth and emotional growth are one and the same. When we commit to daily training with the Holy Spirit, our Coach, over time, and with God’s grace and truth, our brains can re-shape our neural thought highways so we grow up into mature strategies. God will do His part as we do our part so that fear and panic no longer hijack our healthy responses to threat and big challenges.

BY: Stephanie Murillo

FOR FURTHER STUDY

Philippians 4:8
Psalm 10:4
Psalm 13:2
Psalm 55:2
Psalm 139: 17, 23
Isaiah 55:8
Hebrews 3:1
Hebrews 4:12
Proverbs 31 podcast

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Try Rest

August 11, 2021August 10, 2021by Guest BloggerLeave a Comment

Luke 23 is about so many things, the trial, death and burial of Jesus Christ, the new beginning of friendship between Herod and Pilate, the forgiveness of a criminal, for goodness sakes it is about the salvation of the world! Lots in this passage caught my eye, but I landed on Luke 23:56 the final verse.

I have read this passage of scripture tons of times, but never caught the magnitude of this. “Then they returned and prepared spices and perfumes. And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandments”. Can you believe it! The One they loved had just been falsely accused and died a brutal death. They wanted to honor Him to anoint and perfume His body as a final act of love. They wanted to give Him a proper burial and they had to rest. It was commanded of them. It’s not like Jesus didn’t know the day He would die and the fact that it would be required that these women rest. Rest was not suggested, but a must even in the face of death. While they were resting, God Almighty was at work! His plan of redemption in full swing. Ladies, why is it that we think we are in charge of saving the world and making it dinner too? No seriously, I didn’t learn to rest until my early 40’s after a serious burn out and even now still find it can be challenging. Why can’t we take the invitation/command and obey it? What are we afraid of ?

Often when we get quiet long enough things come up, memories, unaddressed issues, the voice of God…His gentle nudge. Remember when you’ve been holding an exhausted little one and they just want to keep going and going; they are weary and crying and struggling and you’re like come on already! Just rest, you’re not going to miss all the things you think you’re gonna miss. Strangely, I can hear the Fathers saying the same thing to us. It is not that we are unaware, we KNOW we need that weekly and even daily rest. Can I just say you need no one else’s permission to rest. The God of heaven and earth has told you to rest, so you get to. 🙂 I think of Psalm 23:2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures”. Makes me. Sounds like the story of the tired child. It’s okay to rest, no as a matter of fact it is good. Each week we prepare a meal the evening before Sabbath and it is actually something we look forward to each week. Try it! At first, it may feel completely against your grain but soon you will settle down and find that much needed rest. Until we meet again, I pray you will take Him at His word and rest.

Blessings, Tiff

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Pray Like an Archer

July 28, 2021July 27, 2021by Guest Blogger1 Comment

Have you ever been under pressure to provide a quick answer in a stress-filled situation? Your decision-strategy will affect your choices. Are you prone to firing off an impulsive answer? Do you go along with the most popular option? Do you move decisions off to capable and trustworthy others because you lack courage or don’t want to take responsibility for the result? Do you ignore as many decisions as possible because you feel overwhelmed? Do you weigh all the variables before deciding? Do you put your most energy, thought and effort into those decisions that have the greatest impact? You may use a combination of several strategies, but remember that your approach to decision-making is critical.

Nehemiah used an effective decision-making strategy under pressure. He found himself in the hot seat when King Artaxerxes demanded a quick response from him about why he had such a long face and obviously heavy heart. Nehemiah had just a second or two to pick a strategy for answering the king. The wrong answer could cost him his head! The right answer could free him to go back to the devastated city of Jerusalem and help with its restoration.

What was Nehemiah’s strategy? He chose to fire off an “arrow prayer.” The technical term for this kind of short, focused, faith-filled cry to God is “ejaculatory prayer.” Nehemiah, like an archer, placed a prayer on his bow and fired it up to heaven, followed its path, and faithfully expected it to reach the heart of God. This ejaculatory prayer was effective because Nehemiah had been praying fervently night and day for nearly four months about the ruined walls of Jerusalem. Suddenly, God provided Nehemiah a golden opportunity to voice his concerns to the king and win his permission to go home to help rebuild his devastated city.

What about you? Do your regular conversations with your Abba, your Daddy-God give you the freedom to fire your own “arrow prayers” when life gives you only one or two seconds to respond to its pressures? Arrow prayers as simple as “Lord, help me!” or “Father, protect me!” can be fired at any time and at any place, under any circumstances. These ejaculatory prayers are not wordy, but heart-felt cries that leap out of our souls. These arrow prayers can keep us from the regret we feel when impulse trumps good sense or voice our sudden joy when we are blessed. A quick prayer steadies us when temptation looms, exhaustion overwhelms, tragedy strikes, pain erupts, death threatens, or our loved ones are driving us crazy.

What about you? Is there a string in your bow because of daily prayer? Do you take time to tell God how much you love and appreciate him? If so, you can confidently fit an intense, quick, and even wordless arrow prayer into your bow of daily prayer. Just point and shoot that arrow prayer, trusting the Holy Spirit to empower its flight.

By Stephanie Murillo

Arrows for your bow:

Matthew 14:28-31 Psalm 6:9

Acts 7:59 Psalm 88:1

Romans 8:26

liz goss

Flip the Narrative

July 21, 2021by Liz Goss2 Comments

I am very ugly
so don’t try to convince me that
I’m a very beautiful person
because at the end of the day
I hate myself in every single way
And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying
There’s beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured I will always remind myself
That I am a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
I still deserve love
Because no matter what
I am not good enough to be loved
And I am in no position to believe that
Beauty does exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

👉🏻 NOW, read from the bottom to the top! 👈🏻

It’s all about perspective! What story are you telling yourself in the mirror every single day? Flip the narrative and change the story, it will change your life. I get it, you are saying Liz… if it was that easy we’d all be problem free. And I know changing your perspective is hard. We are usually pretty committed to our perspectives. We have invested a lot in them.

Kind of like Jonah. He was a prophet and committed to telling people to repent and be saved. He did it well. So well, that when God told him to go preach repentance to Nineveh Jonah said “no way”! When he preached people changed and Jonah didn’t want Nineveh to be saved. They were BAD NEWS. So God had to give Jonah a new perspective, being swallowed by a whale.

Inside the whale Jonah finally got the idea that God was in control and God was the one who could save. He got the narrative straightened out. And once he was seeing clearly God could use Jonah again.

Is there a narrative that you need to flip? What are you telling yourself that isn’t true. Maybe you think you are in control when you need to trust. Maybe you are calling ugly what God has called beautiful. Maybe you are running from what you know God has called you to.

Flip the narrative by praying like Jonah! (chapter 2)

Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the belly of the fish, saying, “I called out to the LORD, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice. For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me. Then I said, ‘I am driven away from your sight; yet I shall again look upon your holy temple.’ The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple. Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the LORD!” And the LORD spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land.

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The Anchor Holds though the Ship is Battered

July 14, 2021by Susan Collins2 Comments

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:2

The Run Free series of sermons has REALLY been powerful. I have been encouraged, convicted, and challenged through every sermon.

This past Sunday, Pastor Rick Blickenstaff took on the monuments topic of doubt and unbelief. Two of the metaphors he used really struck a strong chord within me were: the Anchor and the Post of Honor.

THE ANCHOR

In my last post, I talked about facing the empty nest as a single parent. This is my story of how the life I had planned and the life that I have do not match up. I have wrestled with many ideas connected to this incongruity in my life. The one constant that I have never wavered on is that God is in control.

Pastor Rick told us that the physics behind the rope and anchor is that the load it can bear should be five times more than the load it carries. WOW! That’s a lot of strength. More strength that I have ever had at any point in my life. I know that as I have trudged through the quicksand of depression, confusion, and despair the load that I carried was ALL that I could bear. Fortunately, I am not the anchor in my life. Jesus is my anchor, and that load is way less than 1/5 of the load He can bear.

THE POST OF HONOR

My post of honor is multi-faceted.

I am living as a single person in a world that promotes a sinful lifestyle for singles.
I have raised two children by myself.
I am a prodigal parent.

That is the race marked out for me at this time in my life. We all have difficulty in our personal races. It’s easy to look at other people’s social media feed and think that they have the perfect life. Remember that is the highlight reel. Most of us do not share our struggles publicly. They are reserved for the people who have earned the right to share our vulnerability.

If you’re trudging through quick sand, reach out. There is someone who has been down a similar path or paid the dues to join that awful club before you. If you don’t know anyone, contact Amy. She’ll be gentle, compassionate, and discreet. Just don’t struggle alone.

liz goss

Sunday is not for Sleeping

July 7, 2021July 6, 2021by Liz Goss5 Comments

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. Genesis 2:1-3

Anxiety and 2020 were like two sides of the same coin. One minute you were coping like a boss and the next you couldn’t concentrate because your kids are tapping on everything with chopsticks. There were so many afternoons when I would have loved a nap… and I actually did take quite a few.

But exhausted and over it, frustrated and bored longing for a nap isn’t how I picture God on the seventh day. After all, Isaiah 40:28 says “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.”

So if God wasn’t tired why didn’t he just keep on going? Well… maybe God knew that we needed to rest our hearts fully in HIM once a week. Before the fall we were constantly immersed in God’s presence. We were created for that life. And in the above verses from Genesis God has given us this instruction: yes we must work hard, but we also need to restore our souls in Him.

Mark 2:27-28 says, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” This clearly points to the idea that God rested after creation to establish what He wanted US to do.

So was God napping in Genesis 2? No. Not likely. He was finding rest in the expression of Himself as Creator. Likewise, true rest is stopping our busy lives, reflecting on God’s goodness to us and resting in the expression of who we are in God.

If you are struggling, perhaps you need to take time to rest in God. We were made for His presence! Below are a few practical ways to rest in Him. Please comment with more suggestions for us! We would love to know how you choose to rest in God.

Talk to a friend about your faith and encourage each other.
Read the Bible and find verses that comfort you.
Listen to a podcast, sermon or VeggieTales that makes you remember why you love God.
Be grateful for God’s gifts in your life.
Sing songs that worship God.
Go out in nature and enjoy the things He has made.
Sniff a kitty that has been laying in the sunshine (best smell God created).
Tell stories of God’s faithfulness in your family.

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Hold On!

June 30, 2021June 29, 2021by Guest Blogger1 Comment

“I will not let you go unless you bless me” (Genesis 32:26).

Have you ever wrestled with God? Have you ever prayed and knocked, seeking an answer or your next step for days, weeks, or even months? Have you ever cried out, over and over, “What do You want me to do, Lord?” If so, you have been in a wrestling match with God.

Genesis 32:22-32 contains a strangely beautiful story of a wrestling match that transformed Jacob from a schemer and manipulator into a humble man whose testimony was marked by the limp he carried with him the rest of his life. Jacob tricked his brother, Esau, out of his inheritance then ran away to his uncle’s house. This bad boy was finally called by God to return home to face the mess his greedy heart had made. After sending his family and all his possessions to the other side of the river, Jacob found himself alone, at night, worried his brother might kill him.

What transpired next was amazing! A man, also called “the angel of God’s presence” in some versions, wrestled with Jacob until daybreak (Genesis 32:24). That wrestling match stripped Jacob of his pride, his misconceptions, his tired, worn-out, ineffective strategies and the useless defense mechanisms of his past. He also learned that he could persevere more than he thought. Jacob was put by God into the perfect position to begin learning a new loving design for his life.

Wrestling matches take time.

I have learned that wrestling matches with God take more time than I would like. God insists on persisting when I keep resisting! Much time is needed for God to get to the root of what keeps us from becoming more like Jesus. The encouraging news is that when we ask, God strengthens us to survive a long wrestling match or we would perish before the night is over.

Wrestling matches cause good wounds.

Like Jacob, God has to put our hips out of joint, burst our bubbles, or put some hurt on our prideful hearts so we can be healed, and move forward with Him. Our false self has to die so the real self God created in us can live. Our battle scars are not shameful; they are testimonies of God’s healing grace.

Wrestling gives us a new name.

When dawn came, Jacob told God, “I will not let You go until You bless me.” Despite a dislocated him and a long night, Jacob was determined to receive the good that God had for him. God blessed Jacob with a new name and a new identity. He was no longer to be known as a schemer. God re-named him, “Israel,” a name that proved he had persevered in that wrestling match and a name that predicted a powerful successful future. God wants to give each of us a new identity as well if we are willing to admit we need help and strength, if we are willing to let God set the pace of our progress, and if we do not let go of God until He blesses us.

Prayer:

Abba, help me recognize when I am in a wrestling match with you. Show me how to respond and give me the strength to hold onto You until You bless me. Amen.

Written by Stephanie Murillo

Scriptures for further study:

Luke 18: 1-7

Romans 8:37

1 Corinthians 15:58

2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Hebrews 5:7

Psalm 115:13

liz goss

Goodness Without Perfection

June 23, 2021June 22, 2021by Liz Goss1 Comment

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. Genesis 1:3-5

How in the world do you separate light from darkness? Can you even imagine a time where they weren’t separate? Perhaps it was light for a moment and then dark the next, like a strobe light. Or was it foggy all the time in a half light half dark mix. However the two were muddled up, God was able to separate light from darkness.

BUT… God still knew the light was good before he straightened it out. This tells me something important about the character of God. Things doesn’t have to be perfect to be good. Which is a really hard concept for humans (like me) to understand.

You can be beautiful and a work in progress.
Don’t confuse a bad day for a bad life.
One bite of cake doesn’t ruin a healthy lifestyle.
Something can be awesome and need to change.

These are all inspirational thoughts we try to remember because human brains don’t like dichotomy. Nope. Not one bit. But you absolutely can have good kids who rip up library books, a good day in which you broke your foot or a loving spouse who can’t remember to bring you flowers on your birthday. It can be good before it’s perfect.

What is God trying to tell is right here in the very first thing he does? YOU don’t have to be perfect for God to love you. You don’t. God is okay with things that are good but mixed up. Thats why Jesus came. Is there work to be done? Sure, but that’s what life is for. So keep working on separating the light from the darkness in your life. Note to self: you are not God so it’ll probably take more than one day. But you don’t have to be perfect for God to love you.

P.S. Why did I include a picture of my littlest pup? No it wasn’t just clickbait. This little guy is amazing. He is good. He is just exactly who he should be… except… he loves to pee in the house. Oh he knows how to go outside. He is put out all the time. But he takes great delight in peeing in sneaky spots. Is this trait annoying? Do I wish he stopped. Of course. But he’s no less of a good dog who we love with all our hearts. I think God feels like this about us too.

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Running My Race

June 16, 2021by Susan CollinsLeave a Comment

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2

The current sermon series of “Run Free” and The Grove topic of finding identity in Christ has really impacted me. I am in a season that changes a big part of my identity. My youngest child will be leaving home in August. The identity of “mom” daily is going away. Not that I will stop being a parent to my adult children, but it does change significantly.

I know many people who have faced this change in life and thrived by discovering not being tied to the daily tasks involved in parenting a child living in their home.

As with most significant changes in life, I dread and look forward to experiencing aspects of this change. In no particular order, some of those include:

the sound/noise level
the messes (or lack of)
companionship
the total at the grocery store
cooking dinner
laundry

My situation is not unique, but it is one that we don’t address directly very often. I am a single mom. When my youngest leaves in August, there will not be another human being living in my home. I will be back to living alone with the cat (a scenario I have not experienced for 24 years).

One aspect of the empty nest that I anticipate is a new layer of grief relating to my divorce. I have wrestled with being divorced over the past ten years. Being an empty nester was suppose to be a new season in our marriage. Instead, it is transitioning to a new season as a single person. Definitely NOT what I had in mind when I became a mom.

So what does this have to do with finding my identity in Christ and Running Free?

EVERYTHING!!

I know this was not God’s plan for my marriage, but I know that I am His beloved child. He gave every person free will, which will sometimes turn people we love and trust away from Him.

My race is choosing to follow God. Dropping the weights of anger, fear, and pain. Picking up the truth that I am a new creation in Christ. Keeping my focus on Him and celebrating this new season in life.

I anticipated change and have initiated some practices to ease this transition. I have been involved in ministries at Church (Journey groups, production team, Mexicali trip). I have taken on some leadership responsibilities professionally (policy advocacy work locally and on the state level, volunteering for committees at work, mentoring young professionals).

I may not be running the race that I envisioned 24 years ago when I married or 21 years ago when my oldest child was born. BUT I am running the race set before me, keeping my eyes on Jesus, and seeking to find my identity in Him.

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Not Yet Across the Finish Line

June 9, 2021June 9, 2021by Guest BloggerLeave a Comment

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. [John 14:26 NIV]

Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to make it through some kind of boot camp? I have watched in awe and wonder as my niece tackled the challenges of the exercise boot camp she attends early in the morning at her local gym. Over time, my niece began to exit that steamy environment with more smiles and less groans. Her muscles became stronger and her stamina increased, a training-effect even I have felt with my much-more-modest efforts with free weights and consistent time on some exercise machines. Wimp that I am, I have never been successful without the encouragement of fellow sufferers and a gym rat or two to inspire me with those toned biceps and abs. Wait! Do I even have abs? They must be in there somewhere!

Perseverance is the key to reaching those seemingly far-off goals, a perseverance fueled by the energy of God’s Holy Spirit within us. Each of us have a mighty Coach that can energize every aspect of our lives, if we are willing to be guided by His truth, surrendered to His guidance, and empowered with a mind that learns to think and choose like Him. When the disciples were devastated by the news that Jesus was physically leaving them, He comforted them by explaining that He, who once was only with them, would now be in them, as the Holy Spirit (John 14:26), helping them across the finish line. Remember, the Holy Spirit will help you become the trained, mature you!

Why was the Holy Spirit so essential to them and still so essential to us? Life is hard, and often presents circumstances that are far beyond our ability to cope with them. We need help! How do we get to the next level as we tackle the tasks that mature us?

Recognize that with Jesus in your heart, the old life is gone. Radical change is here! Paul wrote: [Galatians 2:20 NIV] I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Embrace God’s agenda for you. God has a better plan and mind-blowing growth in mind for you. [1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV] However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”–the things God has prepared for those who love him—
Schedule significant amounts of time to be alone with God. When David’s family was taken captive and bitter tears fell, he “found strength in the LORD his God” (1 Samuel 30:6). Take time to invite the Holy Spirit into your current situation right now. Ask Him to fill you and pour out of you.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, help me to remember that You want to coach and guide me and train up my spiritual muscles so You can help me persevere all the way to the finish line. Help me find training time to spend with You. Amen.

For further reading

Acts 5:32
Acts 11:16
Acts 15:8
Romans 5:3-5
Romans 14:7
Romans 15:13
1 Cor. 6:19

BY: Stephanie Murillo